Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Some sanctimonious syrup and nursing ewes

Image credit: unukorno on Flickr
There are times when I look back at previous posts and shake my head at how smug they sound. It is never my intention, but sometimes I'm sure they come across that way. In reality, I have enough of a sense of humor, particularly an appreciation of the absurd, that I would never put myself up on a pedestal. I actually described my thoughts on parenting as sanctimonious syrup once. But the thing is, it is earnest and sincere sanctimonious syrup (does that make it more palatable?). Even when part of me is laughing at myself and aware that I need to lighten up, I really can't help taking things too seriously and overthinking them most of the time. While I'm confessing my editorial failings, I'll admit to a weakness for alliteration, as well.

I am passionate about parenting and about gentle discipline, obviously. For me, this is my calling--to write Living Epistles. So, even though I blow it often (and that is just in the areas I am aware of!), I blog about it to impress more and more into my spirit my goals as a parent. I really want to be Jesus with skin on for them, to show them daily in tangible ways his love and mercy.

There are days when I am buried in diapers, laundry and dishes, and just want to get things DONE, when I am crabby and impatient, when I would much rather curl up with a book or play on the computer than do something with or for my children. Then, being the perfectionist that I am, I start to shame and berate myself for not living up to my own expectations.

One of my favorite verses since childhood has been Isaiah 40:11, "He shall lead His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms, and carry them close to His heart; He will gently lead the nursing ewes." What a comforting picture! I love the image of baby-wearing, with the little ones nestled against His chest, listening to His heartbeat. He still snuggles us that way.

Image credit molajen on Flickr
And on the days when the responsibility of being a parent can seem overwhelming, when I am discouraged by the mistakes I make, I find rest in the last part of the verse, a tender promise to lead moms gently on the parenting journey. We don't have to race through it, constantly striving. We can take the time to enjoy quiet waters and green pastures as we nurse our little ones.

1 comment:

Ms. Burrows said...

Parenting (epsecially gently) is a huge deal to me too. There are days, when I feel I'm failing my kids, and can't get anything right. Then at other times I look at them, and just want to cry, when I realize they are everything I could hope for. Somehow, even when I doubt myself so often, it all is working out.