The Sermon on the Mount for Parents: Salt and Light

Matthew 5-7 has always been one of my favorite Bible passages, and it really contains the core of my parenting philosophy: treating others as we would like to be treated.  The Beatitudes are a treasure trove of incredible parenting advice for me, but I'd like to make my way through the rest of chapter 5 and the following chapters, because there is so much richness in how we relate to our family members here.

Salt and Light

¹³ “You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵ Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ~ Matthew 5:13-14 ESV

We are the salt in our family.  Salt is known for a couple of things: it gives flavor and preserves food.  Our attitude flavors our home.  My kidlets are Betazoids when it comes to picking up on my emotions, and if things start to spiral, I am never successful at helping them get back on track until I have dealt with my own attitude first.  

Image credit: Dawn Endico on Flickr

Are we allowing the things that should be nurturing our family to spoil?  This can apply to so many things, but my first thought was, "Let your speech always be full of grace, seasoned with salt."  Our words can bring life giving flavor or rottenness and decay.  And it isn't always the words themselves, but the flavor that surrounds them.  Sometimes my words are fine, but the expression on my face and my tone of voice are poison, and it spoils any good that my words might have given.

Lights allow others to see where they are going.  The Proverbs verses that have been twisted to seem as if they promote spanking can mean the presence of the parents being like a sun that beats down on their children, providing light and warmth and a constant presence.  

Another thing that comes to mind when talking about night lights and children is helping them not to be afraid.  I don't ever want my children to be scared of me, or to feel as though they have to hide.  "Hiding my light" could also mean deliberately taking away the things that help them to feel safe and secure, not giving them the direction that they need or denying them my presence and comfort.  

Ironically, so many Christian authors want parents to hide their light from their children.  They want kids to be afraid to come to their parents, whether it is tinies crying alone at night or older kids who make mistakes and know that there will be "consequences".  That is not the way of Jesus, the light of the world, who promised never to leave us or forsake us, the one whose kindness leads us to repentance.  

Image credit: Violette79 on Flickr

I am sure that there are many things that Jesus meant when He called us to be salt and light to our children, but they have an important attribute in common: they make life more pleasant, delicious, and nurturing, by their presence.  They protect us.  I want my kidlets to want me to be around, to feel happy and secure because I am in their lives.  I want to be salt and light, and glorify our Father in heaven.

The Beatitudes for Parents

Photo credit puritani35 on Flickr

The Sermon on the Mount has always been one of my favorite passages of Scripture.  Recently I have been drawn to reading it over and over.  While I believe that it applies to all of our relationships, I feel there is a special richness to discover if we look at it as parents.

Matthew 5:3-13
"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is Kingdom of Heaven." ~ NIV, NASB
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." ~ The Message
"Happy, spiritually, are the financially poor, because theirs is Heaven's Realm." ~ The Source

There is blessing and happiness in humility.  Our culture encourages parents to act from pride.  It views children as parental property, "less-than" adults in nearly every way.  That is not the way of citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven.  In Jesus' Reign, the greater serves the lesser. 
What parent hasn't had moments (or days, or years...) when we have felt at the end of our rope?  As we acknowledge our dependence on God, we find peace, strength and wisdom to fulfill our calling as parents.  And, certainly, having children can be a factor in being financially poor! :p

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." ~ NIV, NASB
Happy is not the only acceptable emotion.  We can be authentic with our children.  We can mourn in the secure knowledge that God cares.  He comforts us without shaming or minimizing.  How are we teaching our children to deal with sadness and pain?  Do we comfort them?  Or do we ignore their cries, especially when inconvenient (sleep training, tantrums)?  Do we try to stop them from crying so that we won't be made uncomfortable ("Don't be a baby.  Big boys/girls don't cry.  You're OK.  Stop or I'll give you something to cry about! Here, I'm going to give you a cookie/toy/fun activity.")?  Will they really believe that God will comfort them if we tell them, either verbally or through our actions, that their sadness is not important enough to us for us to comfort them?

"Blessed are the gentle, for they will inherit the earth." ~ NASB
"Happy are those who are not angry or prone to temper, for they will inherit the earth." ~ The Source
How are we modeling gentleness with our children?  Meekness?  Jesus described Himself as gentle and humble in heart--would our children describe us that way?  Or do we justify pride and bullying behavior (hurting or shaming them when we don't get our own way) because "we are the parents"?  Do they see us as angry and prone to temper?

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied." ~ NASB
Are we consistently seeking right relationships with God and others?  That is the source of satisfaction for us.  Do our kids see us reading God's Word, praying and living out our faith in our attitudes and relationships?  Or do they see us indifferent to spiritual growth?

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." ~ NASB
Do our children wince at every mistake, waiting for our judgement and condemnation?  Do they fear to tell us the truth because they expect punishment?  Or do they see us showing mercy and compassion, coming alongside to help and encourage as we guide them?

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." ~ NIV
"Happy are those with purified minds, because they will see God." ~ The Source
Do we demonstrate pure hearts?  The character of Christ?  A passion for holiness and the fruit of the Spirit?  Or are there areas where we are still slaves to sin? Are our priorities in order? When we have hearts full of love, we see God's fingerprints all over the lives of our children.  When our perceptions become tainted by fear, selfishness and lack of wisdom, we become adversarial, seeing evil intent behind every action.  The more we seek Jesus' forgiveness ourselves (purifying our hearts), the more freely we will offer it to our little ones. 

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God." ~ NIV
How do we teach our children to resolve conflicts?  Do they see us as peacemakers, reaching out to bring peace and heal breaks in a relationship?  Are we quick to apologize and make amends for our mistakes?  Do we try to see things from their point of view?  How does our relationship as children of our Heavenly Father teach us to parent?

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." ~ NIV
Do our children see us willing to do the right thing, even when it isn't convenient, even when it hurts our reputation?  How do we respond to insults?  What if our children say hurtful things?  Do we respond with hurt pride and anger, or do we check our conscience and respond with peace and confidence?  Are we willing to follow our convictions, despite insulting comments when our babies are "still" nursing, "still" waking at night, or when we respond with kindness instead of a smack on the rear, or do we find ourselves parenting more harshly in front of others to make ourselves look good?


Jesus never put on age limit on His teachings.  He never said, "Treat others the way you would want them to treat you, unless they are children."  There are no caveats that peace and gentleness, patience and kindness are only meant for adults in our lives.  Instead, He blessed the children.  As we follow His example, may we be a blessing to our children.