It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Image credit blockedroad on Flickr

I don't need a personality test to tell me that I am an introvert with a capital I.  Sadly, the holiday season has no respect for that whatsoever.  Part of me loves getting to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.  But I have never been a fan of crowds, and within seconds, I start feeling overwhelmed.  Physically I am fine, but the part of me that is me can't breathe.  As a child, I would always slip away with a book.  Now, I close my eyes and inwardly flash back to a very special holiday night.  It was one of those seemingly insignificant moments that stick in our minds and draw us back over and over. Like snowcream, it brings a bit of sweet coolness to an overheated day.

I was gearing up for finals, and for some reason that I've forgotten (if I ever knew it), I spent the evening with some acquaintances instead of studying. If I had been with some friends, it would have been great. The people I was with were nice, but we had nothing in common, and I felt out of place. We ended up in a horribly stuffy smoke-filled room where I watched the people around me drink and play pool (I do neither, and it wasn't a particularly entertaining spectator sport). It was so crowded it could induce claustrophobia. I had a headache from the cigarette smoke and was starting to have an asthma attack, and the overworked heater in there was making me feel feverish, so I slipped out for a few minutes and walked to a nearby cafe.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I could suddenly breathe. The cacophony was cut off, the air was delightfully clean and crisp, the sky was the deep cobalt of a clear winter evening, and the heavenly hosts were dancing. It was glorious. I felt such a peace and stillness inside. I knew I was in God's presence. I had a lovely walk to the cafe and was warmed on the way back with a rich white chocolate mocha.

That's it. No deep revelation, exactly, but ever since that night I've been able to close my eyes and take a deep breath and feel the stillness of that moment, the quiet in my soul. It is a moment I will be reliving many times in the next few weeks. 

Trick or Treat?

There is a pretty drastic divide among my brothers and sisters in Christ over the topic of Halloween. Some see it as a benign celebration of candy and dress up, a nice treat. Others see it as a sinister day of occult rituals and Satanism, a demonic trick on unsuspecting innocents. Some fall in between.

We never celebrated the Día de los Muertos when I was small. After coming to the US, the first year we did do Halloween. I dressed up as Big Bird. My parents divorced, and my mom thought that dressing up was OK as long as we didn't do anything scary or evil. I was Strawberry Shortcake the next year.

When my parents got back together, my dad got a lot of material from Gothard and others talking about the dark side of Halloween (and just about everything else). It went into detail about pagan celebrations, child sacrifices and all sorts of grisly things. The same sources found evil aspects of just about any aspect of popular culture, including Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Ponies, any music that was not written expressly as worship music (or written in a minor key, or after the 1800's, or not classical march time, or...). Don't even get me started about the night we burned our Cabbage Patch dolls. Even "Hallelujah parties" or church "Fall festival" celebrations were viewed with suspicion, as being imitators of the world and watered-down Halloween.

I appreciate the desire for holiness and the willingness to obey God in small things. I agree that as Christians we should abhor evil. I also believe that God may convict my fellow Christians on an individual basis about participating in this and many other things. My intent is truly not to mock them.

However, as Carlos and I have talked and prayed about this for our family, we have not felt impressed with the same beliefs on this as I had growing up. So this year, for the very first time, our kidlets are dressing up and trick or treating. We did Hallowmarine at the aquarium last night with their cousin and had a great time! Ariana dressed as a bobbysoxer, Joel as Captain America, Elena as Spidergirl and our little primo as the Great Pumpkin. :) I thought all the costumes were very cute and appropriate to their personalities. Tonight they are going to dress up again (different costumes) and visit some of the neighborhood houses.

This isn't a new issue, of course. The early church dealt extensively with candy that had been offered to idols (er, something like that). I Corinthians has several relevant passages. So does Colossians 2. I would encourage any believers to read them on their own. What I have understood from them is that the only objection, as long as my motives are right, is in possibly causing my brothers to stumble. I truly am not aware of any way that our actions regarding Halloween will cause others to fall. So I am OK with them.

I've heard several objections:
origins of Halloween/paganism--Honestly, nearly every component of any celebration has at times been used in pagan worship. The church has also used nearly all of these things to worship God. Our hearts are to honor God, and I believe that He is pleased that our family is having fun together in this.

Scary stuff--Our kids haven't expressed a desire to dress up as anything particularly scary, but I actually see some cool symbolism in the way that we can face and overcome fear. This is such an individual thing (Ariana is terrified by things that surprise me at times, yet loves our neighbor's lighted Ghost Rider display).

Sugar overload--Kind of agree with this one. We might do the Candy Fairy (like the Tooth Fairy, only she takes away candy and leaves something like a coloring book or stickers). Last night they were fine with me telling them that I would put it away and they could only have a couple of pieces each day. They have had food restrictions from allergies for so long that they totally get the concept of food making them feel icky.

There are probably many other objections (feel free to leave comments). But for us, this isn't "the Devil's day". This day, and all others, belong to our Father. This is the day that the Lord has made, and we will rejoice and be glad. And eat chocolate.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy

It has been a crazy couple of days. My mom was in the hospital with heart problems, but is doing well and was released yesterday. Definitely a wake-up call for all of us, though. Tonight we made some extra-special memories, for which I am grateful.

Carlos' parents got tickets for the Nutcracker, and we had a ladies night out. First, my mom, Carlos' mom, Ariana and Elena and I all met at Starbuzz for white chocolate steamers and coffee. On the way, we noticed all the lovely Christmas lights.

Ariana was entranced by the ballet, and so was Elena. I was actually a bit nervous about taking Elena, particularly since she had been a bit cranky earlier today, but she didn't make a peep through the entire ballet. She watched intently during the first half and tapped her hand in time to the music. During the intermission she got sleepy and dosed throughout the second half while sipping leche.

Ariana was fascinated by the orchestra, but once the dancing began she couldn't tear her eyes away. Almost without realizing it she stood and began to mimic the dancers a couple of times. She enjoyed the performance as much as anyone I have ever seen. It was such a perfect, fairy-tale night. I am sure that as she sleeps, visions of sugar plums will dance in her head.

Christmas presents

I'm already excited about planning what to get the kids for Christmas. I have some gift cards that I plan to use up to buy some cute (and fairly cheap) apron/chefs hat sets, and I plan to add some cool little cake pans. Maybe a set of measuring cups? And a cookbook for each of them. They enjoy cooking so much that I know they'll be thrilled.

Ariana has started showing an interest in music, so I'm going to pull out our old keyboard for her. Carlos saw a cool block set (or was it Legos? Anyway, something like that.) that he wants to get for Joel. We'll probably finish up with some art supplies.

Their birthdays are less than a month after Christmas, so I'm already thinking ahead. Maybe some dress-up stuff. I consider books a necessity rather than a luxury, so probably a couple of stories for each one. Joel likes dolls, but Ariana doesn't, although she loves super hero action figures, so maybe a doll accessory for him and an action figure for her.

Bittykins has enough hand-me-down stuff that we don't need to do much for her. She'll be happy with shiny gift wrap to tear. :)

It is so much fun just to think about, and thinking about it doesn't cost anything. :)

Happy holidays, part II

After the noon meal with my family, we did dinner with Carlos' family at our house. More yumminess! My brother and sister in law brought a scrumptious ham, green bean dish and dressing, Carlos' parents brought blackberry pie, my brother in law's parents (who are officially part of our family get-togethers; the kids think they are their grandparents, too :)) brought a gloriously decadent creamy, cheesy potato dish and green bean casserole, and I had made doubles of all of the mini-croissants from before.

Again, the best part was just being with people that we love and even like. We had a peaceful, pleasant time. My dear sister in law astutefully observed that because the main meal is so good and satisfying, we rarely do justice to the desserts (although personally, I always do my best). So, since none of us are Black Friday shoppers, we agreed to all come back Friday morning for a late dessert-breakfast.

We had more mini-croissants, including the wild blueberry ones; apple pie pancakes; some savory fritters with chicken, onions, celery and sage; peanut butter kiss cookies; quesadillas and plenty of coffee. (Walmart actually has organic decaf coffee for only $6!). My mom made it over, too, and we all had a good visit. We watched National Treasure 2. I like movies about smart people.

Later, Ariana and I had a special, just-the-two-of-us, run to Borders. It was so much fun. I am used to dividing my attention. It was so cool to be able to only focus on her. Carlos, Joel and Elena stayed hime and played super-heroes together (Joel cracks me up as he runs around making the appropriate sound effects for his webs [whit, whit, whit] or robotic movements and rocket noises).

Ariana and I read numerous cook books (her favorite) plus several stories (Fancy Nancy, assorted princess tales and Clarice Bean), sipped our delicious drinks, looked at maps and talked abour far away places, and laughed together. We were gone more than two hours. On our way back, she was delighted to see all the Christmas lights. "Mami, they look like roses about to bloom".

After we got home, we began our own peculiar holiday tradition of several years: Star Trek marathons. (It's OK to laugh). When Carlos and I first married, one of the few TV shows that we regularly watched was Star Trek Voyager. We have the series on DVD, and so we watch a couple of seasons worth during our month off from classes. The best part is all the snuggling on the couch.

Happy holidays, part I

What a wonderful weekend we've had already! I don't do the whole Black Friday thing, but Thanksgiving always kicks off the whole holiday season for me. We spend most of the week enjoying Thanksgiving, then comes my birthday, then finals and vacation time, then Christmas and New Years.

Thanksgiving was so much fun. We spent lunch with my dad's family. My grandparents (and I feel so blessed that they are still living and that my children know their great-grandparents!), parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins' kids were all there. Nearly all of them are fabulous cooks, so we always enjoy the food. (Digressing here, but when I was growing up, we did lots of church dinners. We learned quickly whose food was really good and whose wasn't. High on our avoidance list? The lady who mixed ground beef, ketchup and a can of beans and called it chili, andanother one who liked to use Dr. Pepper [aka cough syrup--blech] in the most unlikely dishes).

Even more impressive than the food was that it was a peaceful day. As far as I am aware, everyone had a good time, nobody's feelings got hurt, and we were actually glad to be family. Pretty remarkable with that many people, let alone people with that much history together. (Note: we didn't enter into any political discussions, although I thought I might have heard a couple of comments at the other end of the table, or perhaps things would have been a bit more acrimonious.) ;)

You know I love food, so you are expecting some details, right? Turkeys, naturally; gravy, mashed potatoes (I made mashed potatoes with caramelized onions and a touch of sharp Vermont cheddar melted inside), Pink Stuff (a family tradition that my aunt makes with cranberries, grapes, whipped cream and other yummy stuff), Green Stuff (I'm not sure, but I think it has fruit, Jello?, marshmallows, Cool Whip--you get the idea), rolls, deviled eggs, an assortment of yam and sweet potato dishes, the traditional green bean casseroles, and a bunch of other things that I can't remember.

Desserts? My grandmother made six pies. :drool: I made the mini-croissants: spiced cranberry with vanilla cream cheese, pumpkin pie, dark chocolate chip with Godiva cappuccino liqueur, and Bananas Foster. There were at least half a dozen other pies--Oreo, chocolate cream, my mom's blueberry dessert, and some others. My biggest regret about the meal was that because of Joel's corn allergy I didn't get to sample nearly the number of dishes I would have liked, since anything with cornstarch, most baking powders, etc. was out. And while you know that I love sweets, the things that I actually missed most were the cornbread dressing and gravy.

All in all, though, that probably worked out well, because later in the afternoon, all of Carlos' family met at our house for the Thanksgiving meal.

A peaceful moment--OOPS, COMPLETED POST

Our Thanksgiving Break doesn't really start until tomorrow, but it almost feels like it has already begun. I love the holidays, but no one can deny that they bring a bit of extra stress. Everyone in the house has some type of bug right now. The morning started off, (after being awakened at half hour intervals throughout the night) with my poor four year old vomiting all over herself and me and our immediate surroundings. The two year old is streaming snot, and the baby is fussy and nursing constantly, and while I am very glad she is getting the antibodies to help her stay healthy, I feel drained, both figuratively and literally. I have class in an hour. Thanksgiving is going to be at our place. And I will stop now, but you get the idea.

**********LOL. I was interrupted (surprise, surprise) and saved a draft but didn't close the window. Apparently Ariana got on the computer afterwards and decided to post it. Some of you may have been scratching your heads at the title (as an aside, do you know of anyone besides fictional characters who does that to indicate puzzlement? I've never seen it in real life that I can recall). Anyway, you probably decided that I was just desperate for a peaceful moment. ************

I think everyone has seemingly insignificant moments that stick in our minds and draw us back over and over. One of my favorite holiday memories happened over 10 years ago when I was feeling just as stressed as I was this morning. Like snowcream, it brings a bit of sweet coolness to an overheated day.

I was gearing up for finals, and for some reason that I've forgotten (if I ever knew it), I spent the evening with some acquaintances instead of studying. If I had been with some friends, it would have been great. The people I was with were nice, but we had nothing in common, and I felt out of place. We ended up in a horribly stuffy smoke-filled room where I watched the people around me drink and play pool (I do neither, and it wasn't a particularly entertaining spectator sport). It was so crowded it could induce clausterphobia. I had a headache from the cigarette smoke and was starting to have an asthma attack, and the overworked heater in there was making me feel feverish, so I slipped out for a few minutes and walked to a nearby cafe.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I could suddenly breathe. The cacophony was cut off, the air was delightfully clean and crisp, the sky was the deep cobalt of a clear winter evening, and the heavenly hosts were dancing. It was glorious. I felt such a peace and stillness inside. I knew I was in God's presence. I had a lovely walk to the cafe and was warmed on the way back with a rich white chocolate mocha.

That's it. No deep revelation, exactly, but ever since that night I've been able to close my eyes and take a deep breath and feel the stillness of that moment, the quiet in my soul. It is a moment I will be reliving many times in the next few weeks.

My favorite new holiday recipes

First, a disclaimer. With our allergy issues, we do mostly from-scratch cooking. This is great, and it has helped me become a better cook, etc, etc. Whatever. At holiday time, I am a mom with three kids under five, and I take any shortcuts I can find. I like these enough not to bother to ever do a completely from scratch version.

In the refrigerated section with the croissant dough, they have cans of Recipe Creations dough, which is just the croissant stuff without being pre-cut. A can of croissant dough would work, but you'd just have to pinch it together where it has been pre-cut. Again, this is about shortcuts. Puff pastry would be far better, but is more expensive, and I am cheap.

You also need cream cheese, sugar, a few more toppings and your imagination. A pizza cutter and a pan for 24 mini-muffins are helpful, but you could make do with a knife and 2 12-count mini-muffin pans. Finally, a couple of ziploc sandwich bags are easier than a spoon. (Reference the previous comment regarding shortcuts).

Preheat the oven to 375. Whip the cream cheese and sugar until well-blended (I use about 1/3 cup of sugar--adjust to your own taste). Unroll the croissant dough and use a pizza cutter to cut it into 24 squares. Place 1 square into each muffin well (the points will spill out a little. That's OK). Now the fun part! The kids loved helping with these.

Mix any desired flavorings into the cream cheese mixture, then put it into a baggie. Cut the corner of the baggie and squirt it into each croissant square. Add your favorite topping and bake for 15 minutes. Remove each little pastry and place on a rack to cool so that they don't get soggy.

There are so many possibilities. We added a splash of Godiva cappuccino liqueur to the cream cheese and topped it with dark chocolate chips. Yummmmmmmm. This morning we just did a vanilla cream cheese with wild blueberries on top (Ariana's favorite) and the same vanilla mixture topped with a homemade pumpkin pie filling (Joel's favorite). I want to try some almond cream cheese mixture with a cherry topping, too. Or peaches or apricots with nutmeg or cinnamon in the cream cheese? Apples, of course. Maybe a chocolate cream cheese mixture with a caramel in each one would be good, too. You could also do a savory version with ham and provolone (maybe a hint of mustard?), or maybe a sausage with red peppers, onions and cheddar...

I think further experiments are definitely in order.