Your Birth Was My Favorite

Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.
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My darling Ariana, your birth was my favorite.  You are my firstborn, and it was all so incredibly fresh and new.  I woke up early with contractions ten minutes apart, although they didn't really hurt.  I went and taught 6 hours of high school and middle school, smiling to myself as they continued every ten minutes.  We actually went to the hospital a few times before they let me stay--I was so excited about meeting you!  Just before the last time, I was having to work quite a bit through each rush.  I would pull on the tall post by our bed just like pictures of some of the indigenous women that I have seen.  I didn't see the pictures till later, but it just felt right.  Between contractions, I read Calvin and Hobbes and wondered if you would share my sense of humor.

After we got to the hospital, I had an epidural and had to stay in bed.  Your daddy and I held hands and whispered, our eyes already overflowing with joy in you.  I tore a lot as you came out, but there was no pain at all.  Just delight in finally meeting you.  We snuggled and cuddled, and watched the snowflakes through the window.  You made my heart warmer than hot chocolate.  You are my friend as well as my daughter, and you still make my heart sing.

My beloved Joelito, your birth was my favorite.  Although we were so very, very excited to meet you, whenever I think of your birth, I think of peace.  I couldn't feel the contractions at all after the epidural, and was so surprised when they told me that you were ready to be born.  The lights were turned so low, we were all relaxed and sleepy.  There was a hushed reverence in every voice.  The nurse quietly asked if I would like to see you be born, and positioned a mirror.  The OB told me that you were so close to coming out that even a sneeze would push you out, and he was right.  The tiniest of pushes, and I got to see you slide right out, so very small and perfect.  You are the only one that I saw be born, and I will never forget.  Your birth was the most tranquil and peaceful of all, my favorite boy, and I seemed to see both a glimmer of laughter in your eyes and a stability and confidence, even though you were a newborn.  You are a faith-child, and you will accomplish amazing things.  Your birth taught me to breathe in peace, and to be fully aware of the wonder in each moment.

My precious Elenita, your birth was my favorite.  From the very beginning of pregnancy, it felt as though God and I were sharing a secret.  I was so sure that you needed to be born naturally.  I'll be honest--I wasn't sure that I could do it.  I was a bit afraid, but I knew I had to.  What an exhilarating ride that turned out to be!  I labored at home with Heather, and couldn't believe how manageable it was.  We went to the hospital and they were playing the stupidest movie ever--one of the Planet of the Apes sequels.  Even that obnoxiousness couldn't get to me, though, because I was too focused on meeting you.

I started to push, my water broke, and Dr. Bob's face went white as a sheet.  You had a prolapsed cord.  It was a God-thing that he didn't try for an emergency C-section, but just yelled for me to push and get you out now.  It was a God-thing that Heather was there to tell me in a quiet voice that you needed to be born right then.  It is a God-thing that you were born so quickly, without any heart decelerations.  After you were safely here, our OB told me that if I had had an epidural and pitocin, you would have died or been severely brain damaged.  I still get chills thinking of it.  My warrior princess, your birth taught me to listen and trust, and that I was stronger than I knew.

My adorable Amaya, my sweet night rain, your birth was my favorite.  I knew by this time that I wanted a home birth.  The funny thing is that nearly every night, I dreamed I was giving birth to you, and I was never at home.  I was so much more comfortable with my body, with pregnancy and with birth in general by the time you were here.  Heather was so incredibly generous with her gift of being our midwife.  I could never thank her enough for all she did.  The contractions started exactly when I had finished turning in grades from the summer classes, and as I labored with you, I was so tired.  Things kept slowing down more and more, and my fear started to grow.  When we finally transferred to the hospital, I felt like a failure and I was so scared.  We prayed so hard.

And God honored my desire for a home birth in ways I never could have imagined.  The nurses gave me a birth ball and were so kind.  The OB on call was respectful and did something unheard of in our state by allowing Heather to catch.  We did pitocin for a few minutes--yeeeouch!--and then stopped.  I was still on all fours, the only bearable position, when he broke my water.  Those were the only interventions.  Then I felt you slide lower and begin to crown.  I reached down and felt your curls as your head emerged.  That is one of the best moments of my entire life.  I was the first one to touch you.  What an indescribable gift!  The ring of fire was nothing compared to the joy of feeling you be born, all nine pounds, six ounces (and that nuchal hand--no wonder you took a little time to work your way down!).  Even though we were in a hospital, I still got everything that I had hoped for in your birth.  They never washed you, and all that sweet vernix seemed to make your skin even softer than most babies.  I stroked you and nursed you and gazed into your eyes with tears of joy and thankfulness making you look all blurry.  You are contentment, our laughter-child.

My precious kidlets, each of you had a very different birth.  But each one brought something unspeakably glorious.  Your births were my favorites.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)

• I Had A C-Section. So What! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama rewrites her birth story now that she has worked through the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment of not having the “perfect” birth.
• The Perfect Birth — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on how a birth can be far from what we imagined, but still perfect.
• Own Your Birth: My Hope For All Expectant Moms — Andrea at Tales of Goodness shares how she owned her birth spiritually (while navigating it physically) in order to have a joyous experience.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: My Birth Experience — It wasn't what Lily at Witch Mom wanted, but it was everything she needed.
• The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE — Shannon at GrowingSlower wants women considering natural birth to know painless births are possible.
• Reflections on Jemma's Birth ... 20 Months Later — It took a second pregnancy for That Mama Gretchen to fully embrace her first birth experience.
• Loving My Unnatural Birth Experience — Erika at Cinco de Mommy cherishes her very first birth experience, in all its unnatural glory!
• Be Careful What you Wish for in Birth — Amber at Strocel.com had two births, and it was the one that went to plan that she struggled with embracing.
• Redeeming an unexpected hospital transfer — Lauren at Hobo Mama looks back at her first, interrupted home-turned-hospital birth, and finds the beauty in what happened.
• All of it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen had to learn to embrace the whole experience of birth even though it meant being naked . . . with an audience.
• Birthing Dreams & Realities — Momma Jorje never had a "dream birth," but she wouldn't change a thing about her births.
• Memories of Birth: Calm Amidst the Storm — While neither of her children's births had been quite what she expected, Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife cherishes one moment in particular from each of her birth experiences.
• Embracing Our Birth Stories — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares a sensitive post on her recent birth which both did and didn't go 'to plan', and writes about the journey of coming to terms with the good and the bad.
• Two Beautiful Births — Sheila at A Gift Universe remembers how her mother brought out the beauty in each of her children's births, and tries to do the same with her sons' birth stories.
• Embracing My Supernatural ChildBirth Experiences... — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares her fond memories on both her supernatural childbirth experiences
• Embracing the Hospital Birth Experience — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction believes that sometimes a medicated, induced hospital birth is the right choice for a natural parent.
• Carnival: Embracing Your Birth Experience — Stephanie at The Other Baby Blog embraces the birth experience from a paleobiologist's point of view and takes a look at how humans defy their anatomy.
• Reflections on My First Birth and Preparing for a Second — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares the strength she didn't realize she had until she gave birth to her son.
• becoming a mama - embracing my birth experience — Meegs at A New Day remembers the birth of her daughter Gwenivere, and the empowered feeling it left her with.
• What About Us? A Poem About Birth — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares a poem she wrote about healing from an unexpected and emotionally painful birth experience.
• Be a Man: One Father's View of Birth — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares her husband's advice to other fathers and partners.
• A Birth Monologue — Kat at MomeeeZen shares a monologue she wrote during the process of healing from her birth experiences.
• Forgiveness: My Birth Journey — Leah at The Crunchy Farm Baby discusses what happens when her planned homebirth doesn't end up the way she wanted, and explains her journey of forgiving herself for losing that "perfect" birth.
• Patching together a perfect birth — KrissyFair at Think Mama, Think learned that sometimes a perfect birth happens in pieces.
• Celebrating and Sharing the Possibilities of Perfect Birth — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle joyfully shares details of her perfect births and wishes to inspire a more positive cultural expectation about birth.
• Instinct - Embracing Your Birth Experience — Laura at Laura's Blog reflects on instinctual moments during and after the births of her two daughters.
• I was Foolish Then — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes how foolish lack of preparation for childbirth led to a feeling of powerlessness and fear, but that in the end she had her baby in her arms, and that's one thing she can celebrate.
• Sometimes no plan is the best plan — Tat at Mum in search contemplates that maybe she doesn't need a birth plan for her upcoming birth.
• Disturbing the peace — Kenna at Million Tiny Things thought she would be a calm, quiet baby-haver. Ha!
• Accepting the Unexpected During Birth — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM imagined herself laboring on a birthing ball but she never imagined where she'd really be most comfortable when the time came...
• Sacred This Time, Too — Kimber at The Single Crunch learned enough to know that the way she birthed wasn't they way she wanted to; but she also knew to enjoy it for what it was.
• The Birth Partner: A Great Natural Labor Companion — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger thinks that the secret to her pleasant natural labors was having a great support system.
• the Best Thing About My Labor Experience — Crunchy Con Mommy realizes that amidst all the things that seemed to go wrong with her labor, the love and support of her husband was the one thing she could always count on!
• Your Birth Was My Favorite — Dulce de leche describes some of the highlights from each of her four births and explains why despite the differences, they are all her favorites.
• Birth Story: Part One - Moon on a Stick! — Gentle Mama Moon tells the first part of her birth story to share some of the delight of labouring at home.
• Embracing My Birth Experience by Sharing My Birth Story — Dionna at Code Name: Mama made peace with her first birth by sharing the story with her son.
• Focusing on the Beauty of Birth — Julia at A Little Bit of All of It shares the beautiful aspects of her birth center water birth.
• A Joyful Induced Delivery — Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work notes the meditations and perspective that helped her achieve an unmedicated birth despite being induced for medical reasons.
• Finding Joy in an Imperfect Childbirth Experience — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells what she learned from her two very different childbirth experiences.
• What's to like about a c-section? — Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is glad she her second child at home, but she also cherishes much about the c-section she had four years earlier.
• What Story Will I Tell? — Rachael at The Variegated Life realizes that the way she tells the story of her second child's birth matters — and could be exhilarating.
• I Quietly Put My Hopes to Rest E — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her emotional ups and downs with the highly intervened birth of her special needs daughter, Bella.
• Tale of Six Births — Jessica at Instead of Institutions appreciates that unique challenges and joys of each of her births.
• Labouring naturally: nature’s gift — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the most beautiful, spiritual aspect of the labour of her son, the first stages along a bumpy road to giving birth.
• All The Woman I Am. — Lindsay at This Woman's Work shares a poem about letting go and surrendering during the thralls of labor.
• A twin birth story: embracing the unexpected — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her twin birth experience and how she found the silver lining when faced with preterm labor, premature birth, and a two-week NICU stay.
• Giving Birth With Eminem — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how fiery rap music contributed to an empowered homebirth with her third baby.
• Two Different Births — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how she learned from her first birth experience and how to trust yourself and your body.
• Embracing Our Potential: Birth as a Metaphor — Sheila from A Living Family guest posts at Natural Parents Network and expresses how birth has served as a metaphor to help her through other experiences in life.
• Little Sister's Birth Story: Our VBAC Adventure — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama describes the recent birth story of her baby girl, her pride in an epidural-free VBAC, and how her story isn't exactly the birth experience she had planned for.
• A Journey in Birth Confidence — Shannon at The Artful Mama shares her experiences with labor during both of her sons' births.

My Parenting Bookshelf--Pregnancy/Birth

For some women, it's shoes. For me, it's parenting books. I read every one I can get my hands on. Whether I agree with them or not, I find them fascinating. I didn't start out collecting them on purpose. The first couple of weeks after my eldest was born, I started worrying about breastfeeding. Was I making enough? Was I doing it right? I picked up a couple of books.

Then, after a horrendous experience with a child abuse manual (TTUAC), I stumbled across a Sears' Baby Book for 90% off (changing editions). I started getting more books on development and gentle discipline. When Joel had the bad reactions to vaccinations, I found several books on that topic. Once we decided to do a natural birth with Elena, I got several books on that.

By the time our fourth was here, I already had shelves full of books that have helped me tremendously. Like old friends, when I need advice, ideas, or reassurance that things are normal, I go back to many of my favorites.

Since there are too many to share in one post (I read a *lot*) I'm going to break it up by topic and share pregnancy/birth this time, breastfeeding another, gentle discipline, etc. Some will overlap, of course. There are no doubt many goods ones I've missed, but here is a list of some of the best:

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
Hands down, my favorite. I grew up with a lot of horror stories surrounding birth, and it was amazing to read so many happy, peaceful birth stories. The section with her advice and techniques was practical and easy to remember.

Orgasmic Birth by Elizabeth Davis and Debra Pascali-Bonaro
The title had me both skeptical and intrigued, but the actual book is very good. Again, positive stories and good advice.

Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding through Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary Flower
When I became pregnant with Joel, Ariana was still nursing at least 8 times in 24 hours. I didn't want to wean her, but was hearing a lot of comments that suggested health risks, etc. This book is exceptionally well researched and gave me all the info I needed to nurse through pregnancy. I also appreciate the real-life stories. Nursing through pregnancy and tandeming can be emotionally and physically challenging, and she handled that with empathy, encouragement and no guilt trips.

Also-reads:
There are several others that I read from libraries, etc, but don't actually own, either because I didn't have the money to purchase them at the time, or whatever.

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin. The hippy-lingo made me smile, and Ina May is excellent.

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
Tons of research and info. Not as light as some of the others, but definitely worth the read!

The Pregnancy Book and The Birth Book by the Sears. The Sears books were my first introduction into parenting according to my heart. I was so anxious to do things the "right way" and they were the first voice to give me authoritative, researched-based permission to cosleep, to breastfeed as often and as long as my daughter wanted, to respond to her without suspicion.

There were many others whose specific titles I can't recall. Some fantastic ones were lent to me by my midwife on active birth, and a couple that are mentioned in my previous pregnancy/birth/homebirth posts.

There were also, of course, some not-so-great books. I *loved* The Girlfriend's Guide books by Vicki Iovine during my first pregnancy. It was entertaining and fit perfectly with my preconceptions. After more research, I was in an entirely different mindset, however.

I read one moronic book on easy labor that was essentially an entire book on getting an early epidural, blindly following any and all suggestions by any medical personnel and being as convenient as possible for the hospital system. There was no research or helpful info other than saying that you are not being a good little girl if you ask questions or do anything without the maximum level of intervention and profit to the hospital.

There were a couple of others that just distilled all the columns from mainstream parenting magazines and said, "Well, you can *try* for an unmedicated birth, buuuuuut, you probably won't make it. Still, it doesn't hurt to learn some techniques to use while you are waiting for the epidural. Eat right and exercise right during pregnancy, etc." Generic stuff. And of course, there are a few that emphasize all the possible birth defects and complications (except complications that result from routine interventions). The "What to Expect" type of book. After my first pregnancy, I just read the weekly development of the fetus stuff and skipped the rest.

All of the books contributed in different ways to each of my birth experiences. Especially in my last two births, I learned a lot from some wonderful authors.

Next post: your baby is here, now what? books. :)

Bigger is...better?

Or at least, not bad. I should give a disclaimer, I suppose. I am not a medical professional. Still, after the recent birth of our beautiful daughter, who happened to weigh 9 pounds and 6 ounces, I've been rethinking our view of appropriate sizes for babies in this culture, and I am wondering if perhaps it is just that: cultural.

The OB who assisted my midwife made several comments about potential size, which in retrospect were probably leading up to a warning about her being too big to be born vaginally. At the time, however, I was too focused on giving birth to read anything into it. She is our fourth, and in my experience, subsequent babies tend to be larger. She had measured on target, and I didn't have GD, so I wasn't going to waste energy worrying. Also, I had read so many accounts of home births where healthy babies were born weighing nine or ten pounds or more that I didn't see a large baby as being a problem.

Our society expects babies to weight around seven pounds. Of course, a couple of generations ago, we expected them to be around six pounds. I think there were a lot of things that influenced that: many women were still smoking and drinking during pregnancy, and they were limiting total weight gain to 15 pounds or so during pregnancy. The mothers themselves were smaller, not just in weight but also in height.

Now there are still many women who restrict their weight gain in pregnancy, not by following healthy diets, but by limiting food intake. The high number of false positives in standard glucose testing causes many women to go on diets in pregnancy, and there are still plenty of OBs out there who warn women against gaining much weight or who automatically schedule C-sections based on their best guess of the baby's size. Add to this the fact that most hospital births take place with the woman flat on her back, which causes her pelvic opening to be 30% smaller than in other positions, which likely contributes to the myths about women being unable to deliver larger babies.

In reading numerous accounts of homebirths where women followed healthy eating guidelines, but didn't otherwise restrict their caloric intake, and gave birth in whatever position they wished (almost never on their backs), I have been struck by the significant number of babies that were well over nine pounds. They were healthy babies, their mothers did not have diabetes, they were birthed naturally without complications, but they were generally larger than babies born under standard OB care.

What if that is actually normal, perhaps even optimal? What if smaller babies are more a result of our attempts to restrict birth weight rather than a reflection of what is most healthy for the babies and mothers? Anecdotally, I can say that the larger babies I've known of (including my own) tend to be more content, sleep better, are healthier and are easier babies than those who are born smaller.

It would be very interesting to see research comparing both models of pregnancy care, birth weights and outcomes.

Wonderfully Made

Happy 2010! 'Tis the season, of course, for resolutions, and for women, it seems to be expected that many of those will involve our bodies and attempting to transform them into The American Ideal for 2010, or at least prevent them from getting any further from The Ideal than they are already.

Being healthy is always a good goal, but the longer I live, the more incensed I become at our culture's insistence that God really did a lousy job of creating women. Ina May Gaskin makes excellent points about the whole "the-female-body-is-a-lemon" mindset that pervades the medical profession. We lament the problem that so many of us have with self-image, but it is little wonder when we are told constantly that we are physical failures.

Very few women that I know naturally fit the shape that our current culture appreciates. However, looking back a few decades is a good reminder at how capricious this is. I would never make it with the Twiggy look--I'm much more the 1950's curvy type. I have gorgeous friends who would actually fit more naturally into the '70s, though. And if you are prepared to look outside the US for standards of feminine beauty, or simply to art from a century or two ago, you'll find an even wider range. Interestingly, it seems to always favor the wealthy (those who can afford more food/better food/gym memberships/servants), and often involves incapacitating the woman (think of things like corsets or bound feet).

It isn't just beauty standards, either. Two of the things that are unique to women--child birth and breastfeeding--have also been denigrated and medicalized until most women believe themselves incapable of either. Our current C-section rate is 1 in 3. Now, I am grateful that they are an option when medically warranted, but do we seriously believe that one out of three women is incapable of giving birth normally? Really? Even an uncomplicated vaginal birth is assumed to be a death-defying act where only an epidural and a range of high-tech equipment and specialists keep the woman and child safe from betrayal by her incompetent body.

Breastfeeding rates are also dismal. Of course, there are many reasons for that, but it is appalling to me how many women truly want to breastfeed and yet are told that they can't make enough milk/their milk isn't good enough/their breasts are too big/too small/whatever. We are convinced that cows are better at nourishing our human babies than their human mothers. Do we honestly believe that God created plants and animals and it was good, but when He got to women He messed up so catastrophically?

Go back and read the beginning of Genesis. Not just men, but male and female are created in God's image. I think that our Bible translations and our culture often give us the false impression that God is male. Yes, we use the masculine pronouns, and yes, He appeared on Earth as a man, but He is Spirit. He isn't male, or rather, He is male and female. He is complete. (The Aztecs and many other peoples realized this).

Now, a few people are probably ready to grab some stones and charge me with heresy, but the Bible actually uses intensely feminine imagery at times when referring to God. Aside from the Genesis account that straightforwardly declares that both male and female were made in God's image, Deuteronomy 32:18, exhorting God's people to turn back to Him, talks about the God who writhed (or danced!) in the act of giving birth to them, although that is obscured in the KJV. There are other passages, as well, not to mention beautiful references to breastfeeding throughout the Bible.

Our female bodies, that have been condemned as incompetent by our culture, are actually gloriously, wonderfully made. So this year, as you consider steps to improve the amazing design we've been given, consider what a beautiful woman you are. God made your body. And it is good.

My favorite commercial

This is amazing. I had hospital births, but have many friends who have had homebirths, and I am open to the idea for future births (not so sure that Carlos is). Regardless of your stance, this commercial is beautiful.

For those who don't speak Spanish, it is a commercial for a bed/mattress company, with the slogan that your bed is the most important place in your world. It features the couple talking about how their son was born at home, and how important it was to them for their daughter to be born there, in the same bed. The mother speaks of the miracle of bringing a new life into the world, and how special to be able to give birth in your own place, the way you wish.

Baby Elena's birth story

I can't believe that Elena is already 7 weeks old. This is her birth story:

I started having some contractions Wednesday afternoon that made me wonder if labor was starting--it was. :) I called my wonderful friend and doula to see if she would check. She came and helped so much--the difference it made just having her there was amazing. She kept me laughing and relaxed with some stories of her son, who is a good buddy of Joel's, and tirelessly applied pressure and massage. By around 5:30 AM she said I was at around a 7, and if we were going to go to the hospital that we should get going. So we got to the hospital, checked in and labored a couple hours there. I was so surprised when they checked and I was ready. I had certainly had some painful contractions, but nothing unbearable by any means. I was in as much or more pain with the previous two births, and I hadn't gone through much labor at all with them.

I am a total wimp when it comes to pain, and I loved my epidurals with Ariana and Joel. I got them at around a 3 or 4 with both--basically as soon as I checked in to the hospital. I had always thought that I would do the same thing with any future births, but almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I felt very strongly that I should not do that this time around. I didn't know if there might be some type of reaction or error, but the feeling never went away, so I talked with Heather and some online friends, and got encouragement that I could do it. Then Heather became our doula and worked with us and I felt more and more peace about the whole thing. I couldn't believe how well things had gone.

Things got confusing for me really quickly. It was time to push, my water broke, and my OB mentioned that he could see part of the cord. He and the nurses got very serious and started telling me to push. Carlos later told me that they had all turned white. I was so inwardly focused that I didn't follow what was going on very well, but I could tell by Carlos' voice and Heather's that I needed to push as much as I could. It turned out that the cord was looped across the top of her head. The pushing and birth were far more painful than the rest of the labor, probably because I was so tense. It seemed like forever, although the OB said it was just four pushes, but Elena arrived safely.

******Heather wrote this:

The OB checked once right after he got to the room and had her push once. Then he checked again, bag and baby had come down some but he thought he felt a cord in the bag before he felt head (so it was: bulging membrane, a loop of cord, head). He had the RN check as well and she felt it too ("Oh crap", she said after feeling it). He commented that heart tones had been great so far (and they had been at home as well whenever I listened). Then he told Dulce that with the next contraction she needed to push...and push hard...that baby needed to come out. She did and the water gushed.

At that point the OB switched from sitting relaxed on the end of the bed to standing, holding back the cord while stretching the perineum (I'm still amazed she didn't tear with all the stretching he was doing!!!). I was trying to focus on Dulce and giving her a calm but firm voice however, I could hear the fear in the OB's voice telling her to push. The next time I looked down I could see a good portion of Elena's head and just a couple seconds later the entire head was out. *****

Later, the OB and nurses told us how serious things had been. There were so many things that came together for a good outcome. If I had had an epidural, if my waters had broken early, if I had had a different OB, if... they agreed it would have been an emergency C-section, and likely brain damage if she had made it. Carlos and I are still dazed with gratefulness that God worked out so many details and that everything turned out so well. Her Apgars were 9 and 9, and she immediately latched on and started nursing perfectly.

Of course, all of us are dazzled by her sweetness, her cuteness, her delightful baby smell, and all her other attributes. :) She has a ton of thick black hair, extremely kissable cheeks, and adorable expressions. She was 8 lbs, 3 oz, 21" and was considerate enough to not even tear me a little on her way out. Nursing has gone really well, although I have an oversupply and OALD that I hope to tame soon. She had some jaundice that kept us in the hospital a few days, so we are all tired and glad to be home together.

The hospital was great. No one even blinked when I declined the Hep B and eye ointment, they assumed that she would room with me, and a couple of nurses even expected her to sleep with me. Even with the high bili levels, nobody mentioned formula, although once it got around that I had been breastfeeding non-stop for the last 4.5 years, they probably assumed it wasn't worth bringing up. :D I am guessing the IBCLC on staff shared that, because I had a couple of nurses say later, "Oh, *you're* the one...". Being away from the kids and Carlos so much longer than we expected was hard, but we are just glad that it wasn't anything more serious.

Ariana adores her. She delights in caressing her and holding her. Joel is very loving, but he also told us that baby Elena was "all done with leche, and now it is his turn". :D Carlos is delighted with her, and has been wonderful at holding everything and everyone together. We have so very, very much to be thankful for.