Monday, September 8, 2008

A Jonah day

Ariana had meltdowns all day yesterday (well, three total, but it seemed like all day), Elena cries as soon as I put her down, Joel kept waking during the night and crying and woke up this morning with a very drippy nose. All three kids seem to desperately need my time, attention and body, and I am grouchy and cranky and want to grab a lot of chocolate and head to Borders by myself for the rest of the day.

I've found that the most beneficial thing by far is not to fight it, but simply to let go of the frustration and lavish attention on the kids. I know that this works. I know that they aren't feeling well, and that some TLC will help. I've even found that my own reserves of patience and peace increase when I do this. But I don't feel like it (read in a very whiny voice). I want to be totally selfish. (Note: I think it is very important for moms to get time for themselves, and do not consider that selfish, but rather healthy. At this particular time, for me, I am wanting to escape for purely self-centered reasons.)

I don't want to be a grown up right now. Somebody give me a reminder about character, and Christlikeness, and all the stuff that we all know but I don't want to remember right now.

1 comment:

granny2five said...

God bless you, my precious niece. Dottie Rambo wrote a song many years ago titled, "Thank You for the Valley I Walked Through Today." You may not be going through a spiritual valley, but our humanness becomes painfully apparent sometimes. Just remember that tomorrow is a brand new day. You'll gain the strength for it when it comes (though, God only knows WHERE it comes from sometimes). Hang in there and know you are loved.