Thursday, December 8, 2011

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

star sky panorama
Image credit blockedroad on Flickr
I don't need a personality test to tell me that I am an introvert with a capital I.  Sadly, the holiday season has no respect for that whatsoever.  Part of me loves getting to spend time with people that I don't normally get to see.  But I have never been a fan of crowds, and within seconds, I start feeling overwhelmed.  Physically I am fine, but the part of me that is me can't breathe.  As a child, I would always slip away with a book.  Now, I close my eyes and inwardly flash back to a very special holiday night.  It was one of those seemingly insignificant moments that stick in our minds and draw us back over and over. Like snowcream, it brings a bit of sweet coolness to an overheated day.

I was gearing up for finals, and for some reason that I've forgotten (if I ever knew it), I spent the evening with some acquaintances instead of studying. If I had been with some friends, it would have been great. The people I was with were nice, but we had nothing in common, and I felt out of place. We ended up in a horribly stuffy smoke-filled room where I watched the people around me drink and play pool (I do neither, and it wasn't a particularly entertaining spectator sport). It was so crowded it could induce claustrophobia. I had a headache from the cigarette smoke and was starting to have an asthma attack, and the overworked heater in there was making me feel feverish, so I slipped out for a few minutes and walked to a nearby cafe.

As soon as the door closed behind me, I could suddenly breathe. The cacophony was cut off, the air was delightfully clean and crisp, the sky was the deep cobalt of a clear winter evening, and the heavenly hosts were dancing. It was glorious. I felt such a peace and stillness inside. I knew I was in God's presence. I had a lovely walk to the cafe and was warmed on the way back with a rich white chocolate mocha.

That's it. No deep revelation, exactly, but ever since that night I've been able to close my eyes and take a deep breath and feel the stillness of that moment, the quiet in my soul. It is a moment I will be reliving many times in the next few weeks. 


Mike and Christie said...

It is interesting how your last post and this post mesh in my mind.
Children and adults who are not necessarily shy, but more introverts, (I tend to be an introvert too, which is why blogging is easy :) ) seem to be judged by others to be
1. unfriendly
2. rude
3. damaged

when in fact, it is most likely none of the above. Teaching our children who are introverts a balance between hiding out away from everybody and joining in with festivities without making them feel judged, or criticized is a balancing act.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. :)

dulce de leche said...

Wow--what an intriguing thought. I actually hadn't put it together yet, but you are absolutely right. I will be pondering more on this. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on it!

Rae Brown said...

I like my introvert friends. They are restful to be around.