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| Do I have a rebellious, Jezebel spirit? |
Growing up, I secretly feared that I would never find a man to marry. I was saturated with the teachings of Elisabeth Elliot, Bill Gothard, et al on wifely submission, authority and gender roles. I understood without a doubt that I would need to be a submissive wife. The problem? Finding a guy I would be willing to submit to. Even with ones that I liked a lot and was very attracted to, I knew that I could not joyfully trust them to make the final decision on something if we disagreed.
I have always been one to choose truth over relationship. I knew that if my own relationship with God and my own intelligence were leading me one way and my husband disagreed that I would have a very hard time submitting. I certainly couldn't see myself doing it in the prescribed method of a cheerful attitude and docile respect. No, I was honest enough with myself to realize it would be with me digging my heels in and arguing all the way.
I tried really, really hard to believe all of the teachings that I was given. My mother reminded me countless times that I had to respect the husband's position of authority and his right and responsibility to exercise it, even if I didn't feel respect for the person or the decision itself. I knew Gothard's teaching that the one under authority could make a Godly appeal. If it was denied, she could suffer for doing right (of course, this only applied if what the husband was requiring of her was blatant sin, not mere stupidity). Otherwise she should cheerfully submit and be confident that somehow, even if the husband made a bad decision, her submission would be counted as righteousness and God would bring some good of it.
My doubts persisted. Carlos was the first and only man I met who I trusted enough to think that I would be able to submit. To my surprise, he believed that the Bible taught mutual submission, and that we were to submit to each other. HUH? That was the beginning into a deeper look at what the Bible really teaches about wifely submission. What I found shocked me.
To be continued.
Image credit: x-ray delta one on Flickr
I have always been one to choose truth over relationship. I knew that if my own relationship with God and my own intelligence were leading me one way and my husband disagreed that I would have a very hard time submitting. I certainly couldn't see myself doing it in the prescribed method of a cheerful attitude and docile respect. No, I was honest enough with myself to realize it would be with me digging my heels in and arguing all the way.
I tried really, really hard to believe all of the teachings that I was given. My mother reminded me countless times that I had to respect the husband's position of authority and his right and responsibility to exercise it, even if I didn't feel respect for the person or the decision itself. I knew Gothard's teaching that the one under authority could make a Godly appeal. If it was denied, she could suffer for doing right (of course, this only applied if what the husband was requiring of her was blatant sin, not mere stupidity). Otherwise she should cheerfully submit and be confident that somehow, even if the husband made a bad decision, her submission would be counted as righteousness and God would bring some good of it.
My doubts persisted. Carlos was the first and only man I met who I trusted enough to think that I would be able to submit. To my surprise, he believed that the Bible taught mutual submission, and that we were to submit to each other. HUH? That was the beginning into a deeper look at what the Bible really teaches about wifely submission. What I found shocked me.
To be continued.
Image credit: x-ray delta one on Flickr
7 comments:
Lawd, I'm looking forward to this series!!
Love you, Dulce. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.
Thank you so much! All love and fullness of joy to you, lovely friend! <3
To this day I have extreme distaste for Elizabeth Elliot's books!! They caused me so much grief in my younger years. You sure left us hanging here... can't wait for part 2!
Very much looking forward to this series!
Ooooh, Leslie, I would *love* to hear more about your take on Elisabeth Elliot. I read all of her books growing up and had large portions memorized, met her when I was twelve and considered her the most amazing role model ever when I was young.
((((Kelly))) <3
sigh. me too. I mean, I didn't meet her, but was very impressed by her when I was younger, read all her books. In the end, I feel it put a huge burden on us girls, and a standard we could never live up to, continually fail and just feel horrible about ourselves if we couldn't live exactly like her and have a romance just like hers. When I see "Passion and Purity" I just want to throw it across the room!
If I was going to really talk about it and have a clear opinion, I'd have to look at her books again and examine what really has left me with this feeling and what I really think now. I haven't pondered it much lately or looked at her books since I was a teenager.
I find it interesting that the first you guy met who seemed like he could be trusted to submit to didn't seem to be demanding that submission. Coincidence? I think not.... he was showing himself to not be a tyrant and your instincts trusted that.
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