This morning's reading in our Lenten book was from Psalm 3. It starts out listing all the reasons David has for feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, discouraged, terrified, hopeless and despairing. Fortunately, most of us don't have to worry about about all the death threats he had. Still, the enemy of our souls loves to taunt us with the same message the people around David had: God will not help us.
Whether in doubting whispers deep inside us, or openly asserted, I think we all hear that fairly often. Regardless of our religious background, we are all confronted with the issue of theodicy. Is God helpless or uncaring, that such horrible things are allowed to happen? I have heard most of the arguments and counterarguments, though I am certainly no scholar or theologian (unlike several of my blog readers, I've never even taken any theology classes, let alone earned a degree in it!).
My personal little theory is that we humans are often oblivious to subtlety. If our perception of evil were reduced to something like that '50s-sitcom nadir of depravity, where a careless child broke a window with an errant baseball, we would scoff at the need for Atonement. Sin would merit nothing more than a "tsk, tsk" and a reproachful shake of the head. We would consider it nothing more than a baby dragon, inconvenient when it scorched us, but kind of cute, if exasperating. Seeing evil for what it truly is enables us to grasp the need for Jesus. But as I said, I'm no scholar, so I am sure others have both proposed and dismantled my little theory.
Anyway, I can see elements of truth in all of the arguments, but when it becomes personal, like it has for the people on my List, I really don't care too much about free will, or the transformation of suffering, the role that we should play in social justice, or any of the other reasons that are given. I just want a shield around me and those I love.
When I was little, I envisioned that shield like a bubble that would protect me from evil. Once, a friend was spending the night and couldn't sleep because she kept imagining a werewolf bursting through our window and attacking us. Our scepticism did nothing to reassure her. Finally, my sister and I told her of scriptures of God shielding us. She got a mental image of a werewolf bouncing off a bubble-like shield, and it gave her the giggles. I used to think of being shielded like that, too.
The problem is, too many of us have had that shield seemingly pierced. So many have been through devastating pain that has seared their hearts. I haven't been physically seared, but I've heard from burn victims how in the initial shock you can be unfeeling, only to go through unimaginable agony during debriding and regrowth. The Bible is full of verses on suffering, and it shouldn't come as a surprise to us, but it still does.
I wonder how the early church saw the juxtaposition of miracles and martyrdom? They were surrounded by both on a daily basis: people being healed of every disease, even raised from the dead, yet the were also dying for their faith. I believe that miracles still occur. From babyhood, I've been taught that we lay hands on the sick and that they will recover. I know it is real. I've also seen people die when I would have chosen a different outcome. I don't even pretend to understand it. I still choose to believe that God has surrounded us with a shield, even if it seems selectively permeable for unfathomable reasons.
Even more, I am comforted by all that Jesus endured. He knows what we are going through. He isn't aloof from our cries. Sometimes when I am holding Elena in her wrap and she gets worn out, I can see her struggle to raise her eyebrows in an effort to keep her eyes open, until finally she gives up and her head thuds against my chest. In the moments when we are too worn out to even hold our head up, when we want to bury our face in His chest and cry out all the confusion, despair and hurt, I believe He is there to cradle us in His arms. I know sometimes there is a gap, and it doesn't happen immediately, but I am also convinced that He will still bring us into His glory, and that He will lift our heads up, dry the tears from our eyes, and let us see true victory.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
A warm and windy day
We actually got to spend a couple of hours outside. Kindly ignore the weeds in the yard--we'll get them soon.
Before the Dawn-Wind Rises
"Before the dawn-wind rises,
Before the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh,
to the hill of frankincense.
For me the reward of virtue is to see your face,
and, on waking, to gaze my fill on your likeness."
Song of Songs 4:6
Psalm 17:15
The Jerusalem Bible
Our church prepared and distributed a very cool devotional/journal for Lent. A couple of things that impressed me in the beginning were a call to contemplation, and listening silently for God.
It is really hard for me to still my mind. It immediately starts chattering away, babbling, even. Or else it listens for a split-second and then doesn't hear an instant response, and impatiently flits away to any random distraction at hand. That is one reason that my favorite time to spend with God is "before the dawn-wind rises". I can breathe in His fragrance with fewer things vying for my attention. I'm also learning again that it is OK if He is silent. All that matters is being together. I think I've shared before one of my favorite quotes from Jamie Buckingham, "Nothing is as important as wasting time with God."
I know that book tastes vary widely, as illustrated by a recent post (and thank you so much for your gracious comments, BlessedMama!), but one of my favorite fiction books is also titled, Before the Dawn-Wind Rises, by Laurie B. Clifford. I particularly wanted to share an excerpt from it (The Minnow Creek), but I can't without copyright infringement, and a synopsis wouldn't capture the power in it.
Anyway, it is a book that stuck with me, even when I wasn't sure that I liked it. Bits and pieces had a way of coming back to me regularly. I don't know much about Ms. Clifford's life, but her understanding of third-culture kids makes me think she must have been one herself. This book has some powerful ideas about hypocrisy in the church, surrender and acceptance. (Commercial within a commercial: her children's book, Evergreen Castles, is quite possibly my favorite kids book of all time. It is hilariously funny and real, but the message of forgiveness is compelling even to an adult).
This is the amazon link for anyone who might be interested. http://www.amazon.com/Before-dawn-wind-rises-Laurie-Clifford/dp/0830710493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235667651&sr=1-1
Before the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh,
to the hill of frankincense.
For me the reward of virtue is to see your face,
and, on waking, to gaze my fill on your likeness."
Song of Songs 4:6
Psalm 17:15
The Jerusalem Bible
Our church prepared and distributed a very cool devotional/journal for Lent. A couple of things that impressed me in the beginning were a call to contemplation, and listening silently for God.
It is really hard for me to still my mind. It immediately starts chattering away, babbling, even. Or else it listens for a split-second and then doesn't hear an instant response, and impatiently flits away to any random distraction at hand. That is one reason that my favorite time to spend with God is "before the dawn-wind rises". I can breathe in His fragrance with fewer things vying for my attention. I'm also learning again that it is OK if He is silent. All that matters is being together. I think I've shared before one of my favorite quotes from Jamie Buckingham, "Nothing is as important as wasting time with God."
I know that book tastes vary widely, as illustrated by a recent post (and thank you so much for your gracious comments, BlessedMama!), but one of my favorite fiction books is also titled, Before the Dawn-Wind Rises, by Laurie B. Clifford. I particularly wanted to share an excerpt from it (The Minnow Creek), but I can't without copyright infringement, and a synopsis wouldn't capture the power in it.
Anyway, it is a book that stuck with me, even when I wasn't sure that I liked it. Bits and pieces had a way of coming back to me regularly. I don't know much about Ms. Clifford's life, but her understanding of third-culture kids makes me think she must have been one herself. This book has some powerful ideas about hypocrisy in the church, surrender and acceptance. (Commercial within a commercial: her children's book, Evergreen Castles, is quite possibly my favorite kids book of all time. It is hilariously funny and real, but the message of forgiveness is compelling even to an adult).
This is the amazon link for anyone who might be interested. http://www.amazon.com/Before-dawn-wind-rises-Laurie-Clifford/dp/0830710493/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235667651&sr=1-1
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The List
This is my special prayer list for Lent. There are many others whom I will be praying for, but these are the ones that specifically asked for prayer during this time. To me, one of the coolest things about praying for others is that it creates a bond. "Where our treasure [time, energy] is, our heart will be also." Already I am holding these people in my heart, and I would like to invite you to pray for them, too, not only for the things listed, but for grace, peace, hope, love and joy--that God's presence would fill their hearts and lives. Thanks!
Revvie--wisdom, spiritual guidance
Anaise and Liz--jobs to provide for their familes' needs, healthy babies
The Cox, Green and Sathers families--healing and grace
DrSteel's mom--cancer
MajorMilkFunction's family--her Aunt Mary passed away from cancer
Eliz2's family--dh is joining church, dd's 1st communion
cali_mami--a full-time job with benefits in Corcoran that nets at least $1300.00 a month
Pearl's friend, Baby J--2 months old, battling cancer and on chemo
ZachyTacky's FIL, Sonny--wrapping up radiation treatments for brain cancer
LaVaca--ds' health and eventual growth, dh's business venture
Meglet--dd's feet (Olivia). She's done with her surgery and casting now, but we're not quite sure it worked.
JillyG's friends--provision, a job that will allow them to keep their house, guarding the hearts of their children through this difficult time
AuLait's sister, Becki--protection and blessing as she does medical missions and language work in Guatemala
Lunch Buckets'dd's history teacher--brain tumor
Mandypta--no more eye infections
TabbyCat--rebuilding after loss of marriage
BlessedMama's friend, Michele--a mom of 3 (5, 4, and 2 years old) told she will be on chemo for the rest of her life for a brain tumor
All of those who preferred to remain anonymous--guidance, peace and provision; freedom from anxiety and panic attacks; renewed passion, delight and security in your relationship with God
Revvie--wisdom, spiritual guidance
Anaise and Liz--jobs to provide for their familes' needs, healthy babies
The Cox, Green and Sathers families--healing and grace
DrSteel's mom--cancer
MajorMilkFunction's family--her Aunt Mary passed away from cancer
Eliz2's family--dh is joining church, dd's 1st communion
cali_mami--a full-time job with benefits in Corcoran that nets at least $1300.00 a month
Pearl's friend, Baby J--2 months old, battling cancer and on chemo
ZachyTacky's FIL, Sonny--wrapping up radiation treatments for brain cancer
LaVaca--ds' health and eventual growth, dh's business venture
Meglet--dd's feet (Olivia). She's done with her surgery and casting now, but we're not quite sure it worked.
JillyG's friends--provision, a job that will allow them to keep their house, guarding the hearts of their children through this difficult time
AuLait's sister, Becki--protection and blessing as she does medical missions and language work in Guatemala
Lunch Buckets'dd's history teacher--brain tumor
Mandypta--no more eye infections
TabbyCat--rebuilding after loss of marriage
BlessedMama's friend, Michele--a mom of 3 (5, 4, and 2 years old) told she will be on chemo for the rest of her life for a brain tumor
All of those who preferred to remain anonymous--guidance, peace and provision; freedom from anxiety and panic attacks; renewed passion, delight and security in your relationship with God
Are you on my list?
I think God has a very quirky sense of humor. I thought about the whole Lent thing off and on after I posted--and I appreciate the comments, by the way!--then went to sleep. Briefly. I woke up with Psalm 63 going through my mind. I went through it in multiple versions, Spanish, English, but I kept getting stuck. I knew I was leaving out part of it. So, since I was wide awake, I started praying about Lent. I loved the idea about taking each day to pray for a different person, but I wasn't sure who all I should put on my list. Then I got very excited about opening up my blog to anyone who would like some very focused prayer.
If you want on my list, please just leave a comment. If you have anything specific that you would like me to pray about, mention it, and if it is something that you would rather not be posted publicly, please say that you do not want it published (I have to moderate all comments).
I decided to also go ahead with foregoing chocolate (but not coffee; I know my limitations) and reducing my computer time. I'll still do email and my blog, but not much Facebook or surfing. I am actually very excited about this.
Oh, yes, I mentioned a divine sense of humor. The verse I couldn't remember? Verse six: "When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You through the night watches."
If you want on my list, please just leave a comment. If you have anything specific that you would like me to pray about, mention it, and if it is something that you would rather not be posted publicly, please say that you do not want it published (I have to moderate all comments).
I decided to also go ahead with foregoing chocolate (but not coffee; I know my limitations) and reducing my computer time. I'll still do email and my blog, but not much Facebook or surfing. I am actually very excited about this.
Oh, yes, I mentioned a divine sense of humor. The verse I couldn't remember? Verse six: "When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You through the night watches."
Monday, February 23, 2009
Lent
Do you celebrate Lent? How? In the past, we've never really celebrated Lent, but I would like to this year. Lately, I have been feeling a tug to become more disciplined in...I started to say my spiritual life, but I believe that all of life is spiritual, and I've been seeing a need for it in every area. Some form of fasting or giving something up would be a good reminder for me.
I've been very blessed by fasting, but haven't done that since I was pregnant or breastfeeding. Recently, I've heard several ideas--giving up favorite foods, screen time, etc. One idea that I particularly liked was writing down 40 names and taking one day to pray especially for each one. I've been thinking of giving up chocolate (don't laugh!), but it feels sort of like cheating, because I've been suspecting an issue there with Elena, anyway. I could give up Internet except for email and my blog. I need to pray about it more, I guess. Anyway, I would love to hear any of your traditions or plans!
I've been very blessed by fasting, but haven't done that since I was pregnant or breastfeeding. Recently, I've heard several ideas--giving up favorite foods, screen time, etc. One idea that I particularly liked was writing down 40 names and taking one day to pray especially for each one. I've been thinking of giving up chocolate (don't laugh!), but it feels sort of like cheating, because I've been suspecting an issue there with Elena, anyway. I could give up Internet except for email and my blog. I need to pray about it more, I guess. Anyway, I would love to hear any of your traditions or plans!
Sunday, February 22, 2009
On works of fantasy
I love reading--it is easily my favorite pastime. Since I was five, I've thought that pure bliss would be days on end in a bookstore or library, with a continual supply of snacks, of course. As I mentioned in the previous post, last night I got to chat with a new friend about some of our favorite fiction.
At times our perceptions differed radically. One of her favorite books is Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. My mother, sister, and most other women that I know who have read it were deeply moved by it. Personally, I loathed it. (Sorry, Christy--feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph; it isn't meant to offend you!) It totally offended my sense of justice. The protagonist, sold into prostitution as a child, is a disgraceful fallen woman because she survived (although, surely suicide would be frowned on, too?). But, a supposed Christian practically rapes her, and is rewarded by marrying her best friend. It was fine for him, because he was a guy? Barf. Another of her books on abortion has a similar thread where once the woman is raped, her Bible-school fiance dumps her, because of course he can't sully himself with her. I personally get the impression that the author has both a very disgusting "blame the victim" attitude towards survivors of sexual abuse, and a revolting double standard when it comes to men and women.
But, aside from our divergent opinions on that particular book, we agreed that we both love fantasy. It was kind of funny because we both had brief periods in childhood where it was considered OK, then more or less prohibited, and even now as adults we find ourselves still working out our own standards.
When I was a child, my mother abhorred violence, even John Wayne-the-bad-guys-fall-down-with-a-bang-violence. She didn't mind magic or fantasy, as long as it was pretty and nobody got hurt. My dad, on the other hand, had no problem with reality-violence (not sadistic tortures scenes, etc, but general war movie or good-guy-gets-bad-guy violence), but strongly opposed any hint of witchcraft. My mom would oppose Bambi, my dad would disapprove of Cinderella. Even the Chronicles of Narnia were viewed darkly and with great suspicion!
I'm poking fun just a bit, but the truth is that I respect, appreciate and share my parents' desire for filling our minds with that which is good. There is Biblical precedent for standing against the occult in popular culture. At the same time, the cynic in me notes that any time something becomes intensely popular with children, there seems to be an answering wave in Christian circles condemning it as evil (and probably demonic). I've seen it happen many times, from Cabbage Patch dolls and wicked My Little Ponies to the Harry Potter books.
I believe that, like with a good many other things, there is some leeway for a person's own conscience. I love fantasy. I think that it is a beautifully rich, God-given form of expressing our imagination. Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ have used fantasy. Madeleine L'Engle's Time quintet is one of my favorites. I look at men like Tolkein and C.S. Lewis, who wrote successful and brilliant works featuring magic, wizards and any number of mythical and fantastic creatures. For that matter, I've read Daniel, the Revelation and several other passages in the Bible that teem with improbable creatures and the supernatural. Jesus himself was a renowned story-teller, and I think that fiction is a wonderful way to convey Truth.
So for those out there wondering, why yes, I am a Harry Potter fan. They are great stories, and the themes of love and self-sacrifice overcoming evil don't trouble my conscience in the least. I love Tamora Pierce (especially Trickster's Choice and Trickster's Queen), and am eagerly awaiting the release of Bloodhound. I haven't read any of the Twilight books yet (if you've read them, feel free to comment!), but I generally enjoy vampire stories.
If you are shaking your head over my reading material, you may be relieved (or amused) to learn that I rarely listen to secular music. The only CD I own that isn't overtly Christian is Andrea Bocelli. I certainly have no desire to restrict other people's choices (although, I will admit to a not-so-secret revulsion to country music). I've just noticed that after listening to it, especially if the lyrics are depressing, that I feel edgy and grouchy (note, my reaction to depressing lyrics does not fully explain my aversion to country music--I can't stomach country gospel, either). Again, so much comes back to our individual experiences. We may be convicted or comfortable with very different things.
I'll post before getting into all of my thoughts on Kukulkan, Quetzalcoatl, dragons and serpents...
At times our perceptions differed radically. One of her favorite books is Redeeming Love, by Francine Rivers. My mother, sister, and most other women that I know who have read it were deeply moved by it. Personally, I loathed it. (Sorry, Christy--feel free to skip the rest of this paragraph; it isn't meant to offend you!) It totally offended my sense of justice. The protagonist, sold into prostitution as a child, is a disgraceful fallen woman because she survived (although, surely suicide would be frowned on, too?). But, a supposed Christian practically rapes her, and is rewarded by marrying her best friend. It was fine for him, because he was a guy? Barf. Another of her books on abortion has a similar thread where once the woman is raped, her Bible-school fiance dumps her, because of course he can't sully himself with her. I personally get the impression that the author has both a very disgusting "blame the victim" attitude towards survivors of sexual abuse, and a revolting double standard when it comes to men and women.
But, aside from our divergent opinions on that particular book, we agreed that we both love fantasy. It was kind of funny because we both had brief periods in childhood where it was considered OK, then more or less prohibited, and even now as adults we find ourselves still working out our own standards.
When I was a child, my mother abhorred violence, even John Wayne-the-bad-guys-fall-down-with-a-bang-violence. She didn't mind magic or fantasy, as long as it was pretty and nobody got hurt. My dad, on the other hand, had no problem with reality-violence (not sadistic tortures scenes, etc, but general war movie or good-guy-gets-bad-guy violence), but strongly opposed any hint of witchcraft. My mom would oppose Bambi, my dad would disapprove of Cinderella. Even the Chronicles of Narnia were viewed darkly and with great suspicion!
I'm poking fun just a bit, but the truth is that I respect, appreciate and share my parents' desire for filling our minds with that which is good. There is Biblical precedent for standing against the occult in popular culture. At the same time, the cynic in me notes that any time something becomes intensely popular with children, there seems to be an answering wave in Christian circles condemning it as evil (and probably demonic). I've seen it happen many times, from Cabbage Patch dolls and wicked My Little Ponies to the Harry Potter books.
I believe that, like with a good many other things, there is some leeway for a person's own conscience. I love fantasy. I think that it is a beautifully rich, God-given form of expressing our imagination. Some of my brothers and sisters in Christ have used fantasy. Madeleine L'Engle's Time quintet is one of my favorites. I look at men like Tolkein and C.S. Lewis, who wrote successful and brilliant works featuring magic, wizards and any number of mythical and fantastic creatures. For that matter, I've read Daniel, the Revelation and several other passages in the Bible that teem with improbable creatures and the supernatural. Jesus himself was a renowned story-teller, and I think that fiction is a wonderful way to convey Truth.
So for those out there wondering, why yes, I am a Harry Potter fan. They are great stories, and the themes of love and self-sacrifice overcoming evil don't trouble my conscience in the least. I love Tamora Pierce (especially Trickster's Choice and Trickster's Queen), and am eagerly awaiting the release of Bloodhound. I haven't read any of the Twilight books yet (if you've read them, feel free to comment!), but I generally enjoy vampire stories.
If you are shaking your head over my reading material, you may be relieved (or amused) to learn that I rarely listen to secular music. The only CD I own that isn't overtly Christian is Andrea Bocelli. I certainly have no desire to restrict other people's choices (although, I will admit to a not-so-secret revulsion to country music). I've just noticed that after listening to it, especially if the lyrics are depressing, that I feel edgy and grouchy (note, my reaction to depressing lyrics does not fully explain my aversion to country music--I can't stomach country gospel, either). Again, so much comes back to our individual experiences. We may be convicted or comfortable with very different things.
I'll post before getting into all of my thoughts on Kukulkan, Quetzalcoatl, dragons and serpents...
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Felicidades a Carlos
My beloved has now won the championship for the sixth year in a row! Congratulations, mi amado. Elena was very cooperative and well-behaved, despite not feeling too well (I suspect either teething or possibly an ear infection), and the students enjoyed having her in class. They did better than usual on the oral exams as well. One said it was easier to relax in the presence of a cute baby. :) After we got home, we wound up having a surprise (to me) party to celebrate Carlos' winning streak. It was a lot of fun. Carlos had some ribeyes that he had bought for a super-cheap price, we made blue-green potatoes (bleu cheese and green onion twice baked potatoes) and finished up with lots of decaf coffee and a pumpkin cake. The pumpkin cake was an experiment, but happily, a very successful one.
Later, we got into a very interesting discussion on fantasy fiction and its place in the life of a Christian. I will definitely post on it soon, but I'm sleepy and my thoughts are not as coherent as I would like. Elena is sleeping next to me and looks pretty happy. I am about ready to join her...
Later, we got into a very interesting discussion on fantasy fiction and its place in the life of a Christian. I will definitely post on it soon, but I'm sleepy and my thoughts are not as coherent as I would like. Elena is sleeping next to me and looks pretty happy. I am about ready to join her...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Getting ready for the weekend...
Today was a lot of fun. We decided on the spur of the moment to go to the indoor playground, then Carlos was able to join us for lunch. I was really glad that the kids got lots of solid play time. We've been cooped up a lot for one reason or another, and I think that Ariana and Joel were in desperate need of climbing and running (or at least doing it in a more congenial space than our living room).
Carlos is going for his....eighth? ninth? badminton championship. He wins almost every year. If you haven't seen tournament level badminton, don't let visions of gentle backyard matches deceive you. This is far more intense than tennis, and he trains for it pretty extensively every year. It is kind of funny, because one of the instructors is doing everything he can to put together a team that can defeat Carlos, but it almost never happens. Carlos has lost before, but usually only to a surprise international player, and even then, the second and third seed members on his team have been able to pull through.
Since he won't be with the kidlets, Elena is going to class with me. She likes being worn, but I'll be there about seven hours, so her abuela is coming along as back up. It will be an intense day for my students, too. They have to learn an entire chapter of new vocab, stressed possessive adjectives and pronouns, irregular preterites, the imperfect, and direct object pronouns, all before lunch! Then we'll review the previous chapter, with lots of regular preterites, stem-changers and spelling changes, comparisons and superlatives. Finally, they get an exam with listening sections, several cloze passages, reading comprehension, a short essay, and last but not least, a one-on-one oral section. Fun times! I have a really good group of students (if you aren't dedicated, you drop this class pretty quickly), so it truly is a joy to teach, even on a long day like tomorrow.
All this reminds me that I still have some grading to do, too...good night, and I hope that your weekend is a lot of fun!
Carlos is going for his....eighth? ninth? badminton championship. He wins almost every year. If you haven't seen tournament level badminton, don't let visions of gentle backyard matches deceive you. This is far more intense than tennis, and he trains for it pretty extensively every year. It is kind of funny, because one of the instructors is doing everything he can to put together a team that can defeat Carlos, but it almost never happens. Carlos has lost before, but usually only to a surprise international player, and even then, the second and third seed members on his team have been able to pull through.
Since he won't be with the kidlets, Elena is going to class with me. She likes being worn, but I'll be there about seven hours, so her abuela is coming along as back up. It will be an intense day for my students, too. They have to learn an entire chapter of new vocab, stressed possessive adjectives and pronouns, irregular preterites, the imperfect, and direct object pronouns, all before lunch! Then we'll review the previous chapter, with lots of regular preterites, stem-changers and spelling changes, comparisons and superlatives. Finally, they get an exam with listening sections, several cloze passages, reading comprehension, a short essay, and last but not least, a one-on-one oral section. Fun times! I have a really good group of students (if you aren't dedicated, you drop this class pretty quickly), so it truly is a joy to teach, even on a long day like tomorrow.
All this reminds me that I still have some grading to do, too...good night, and I hope that your weekend is a lot of fun!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Some sanctimonious syrup and nursing ewes
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| Image credit: unukorno on Flickr |
I am passionate about parenting and about gentle discipline, obviously. For me, this is my calling--to write Living Epistles. So, even though I blow it often (and that is just in the areas I am aware of!), I blog about it to impress more and more into my spirit my goals as a parent. I really want to be Jesus with skin on for them, to show them daily in tangible ways his love and mercy.
There are days when I am buried in diapers, laundry and dishes, and just want to get things DONE, when I am crabby and impatient, when I would much rather curl up with a book or play on the computer than do something with or for my children. Then, being the perfectionist that I am, I start to shame and berate myself for not living up to my own expectations.
One of my favorite verses since childhood has been Isaiah 40:11, "He shall lead His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms, and carry them close to His heart; He will gently lead the nursing ewes." What a comforting picture! I love the image of baby-wearing, with the little ones nestled against His chest, listening to His heartbeat. He still snuggles us that way.
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| Image credit molajen on Flickr |
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