I just found this blog yesterday, and today's post was very similar to some recent conversations I've had with others. Regardless of which side you fall on, it is worth thinking about.
http://www.chewymom.com/opening-a-can-of-worms/
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thanks and something weird but cool
First of all, many thanks and hugs to everyone who encouraged me yesterday. The evening got better, Joel is still drippy but much happier, Ariana has been calm and very helpful with the little ones, and we are all in a much better frame of mind today.
Have you ever had an impression to pray for someone that just comes out of the blue? I've had it several times, but never as consistently as this. About 16 or 17 years ago, there was a DJ on the radio station that I usually listened to whom I felt impressed to pray for. I never met him, even though we spoke on the phone a couple of times, but I started praying for him regularly. He became a missionary in Russia and eventually married a lovely woman there. I got his newsletter for awhile, but then lost touch.
The funny thing is, despite the loss of contact and the fact that we had never even met, the urge to pray for this family never went away. I'd go a few weeks without thinking of them at all, and then suddenly I'd wake up in the night feeling like I needed to pray for them. So for over 16 years, I have been praying for them, and often curious about what might be going on in their lives.
Anyway, on impulse I checked Facebook to see if they were on there, and they are! I sent a message (which probably seemed very strange and semi-stalkerish), and got a very nice reply. I doubt we will ever meet before heaven, but it is cool to know that they are doing well. It made me wonder--who do you think God has praying for us, without us even being aware of it? It makes me tingle to think that perhaps thousands of miles away, people that we have never met might be holding us up and praying blessings over our lives!
Have you ever had an impression to pray for someone that just comes out of the blue? I've had it several times, but never as consistently as this. About 16 or 17 years ago, there was a DJ on the radio station that I usually listened to whom I felt impressed to pray for. I never met him, even though we spoke on the phone a couple of times, but I started praying for him regularly. He became a missionary in Russia and eventually married a lovely woman there. I got his newsletter for awhile, but then lost touch.
The funny thing is, despite the loss of contact and the fact that we had never even met, the urge to pray for this family never went away. I'd go a few weeks without thinking of them at all, and then suddenly I'd wake up in the night feeling like I needed to pray for them. So for over 16 years, I have been praying for them, and often curious about what might be going on in their lives.
Anyway, on impulse I checked Facebook to see if they were on there, and they are! I sent a message (which probably seemed very strange and semi-stalkerish), and got a very nice reply. I doubt we will ever meet before heaven, but it is cool to know that they are doing well. It made me wonder--who do you think God has praying for us, without us even being aware of it? It makes me tingle to think that perhaps thousands of miles away, people that we have never met might be holding us up and praying blessings over our lives!
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Jonah day
Ariana had meltdowns all day yesterday (well, three total, but it seemed like all day), Elena cries as soon as I put her down, Joel kept waking during the night and crying and woke up this morning with a very drippy nose. All three kids seem to desperately need my time, attention and body, and I am grouchy and cranky and want to grab a lot of chocolate and head to Borders by myself for the rest of the day.
I've found that the most beneficial thing by far is not to fight it, but simply to let go of the frustration and lavish attention on the kids. I know that this works. I know that they aren't feeling well, and that some TLC will help. I've even found that my own reserves of patience and peace increase when I do this. But I don't feel like it (read in a very whiny voice). I want to be totally selfish. (Note: I think it is very important for moms to get time for themselves, and do not consider that selfish, but rather healthy. At this particular time, for me, I am wanting to escape for purely self-centered reasons.)
I don't want to be a grown up right now. Somebody give me a reminder about character, and Christlikeness, and all the stuff that we all know but I don't want to remember right now.
I've found that the most beneficial thing by far is not to fight it, but simply to let go of the frustration and lavish attention on the kids. I know that this works. I know that they aren't feeling well, and that some TLC will help. I've even found that my own reserves of patience and peace increase when I do this. But I don't feel like it (read in a very whiny voice). I want to be totally selfish. (Note: I think it is very important for moms to get time for themselves, and do not consider that selfish, but rather healthy. At this particular time, for me, I am wanting to escape for purely self-centered reasons.)
I don't want to be a grown up right now. Somebody give me a reminder about character, and Christlikeness, and all the stuff that we all know but I don't want to remember right now.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I love cloth diapers!
When I first heard of people my age cloth diapering, I inwardly gagged. I mean, I understand it in other countries or past generations where it really wasn't an option, but why on earth would anyone choose to use cloth? Aside from the nuisance of pins and all the extra work, I had vague ideas about dunking and swirling poopy diapers :shudder: and it just sounded gross.
So how did I become a convert? It turns out that I had a lot of misconceptions. My friend was generous enough to lend me some and answer all my questions. We took the plunge and switched about two and a half years ago, and I am so glad that we did. The results?
*Less work than taking out the trash. YAY! I do a few extra loads of laundry, but tossing them into the washer and then into the dryer isn't much. It isn't like you need to fold and iron them.
*Not gross. No dunking and swirling. Eww. I have a bag made from the same fabric as the diapers, so I toss the diapers in there, and just empty the bag. If there is solid poop just hold the diaper over the toilet and it rolls right off the fleece. BTW, did you know that you are supposed to do that with disposables, too? Check the box!
*Better for babies' skin. Our kids are prone to eczema, but almost never have diaper rash (and we never use creams, etc.). The fleece keeps their skin dry, and it is soooo soft. I'd be much more comfortable w/ soft fleece than with paper undies. Also, have you looked at the bleach and chemicals that can be absorbed into your skin from the disposables? Scary stuff!
*Better for the environment. Think about the huge piles of diapers that your baby can go through in a week, then multiply that by the time it takes to potty train, and then try to imagine it just for the kids in your family--for us we would be talking a large hill, maybe small mountain. That doesn't even get into the environmental impact from manufacturing disposables.
*$$$. We have saved so much money. We were spending close to $100/month on disposables. We spent less than $500 to get all our Fuzzi Bunz (including a set of mediums and a set of large). That covered Ariana for almost one year, Joel from two months all the way through potty training, and Elena from about 6 weeks through potty training. Wow. Be warned, though--they can get addictive.
*CUTENESS! There are so many colors and designs. You can coordinate to perfectly match outfits, and in the summer they can even double as shorts.
*Easy. We use pockets, which you stuff to create the perfect absorbency. So we add an extra insert for overnight. No leaks. They have adjustable snaps, so you don't worry about pins, and they grow to fit your kids. Also, our little ones tend towards small waists and chubby thighs, and these custom fit them. Joel wore mediums on different settings from 2 months to 15 months.
I just wish we had used them with Ariana from the beginning.
So how did I become a convert? It turns out that I had a lot of misconceptions. My friend was generous enough to lend me some and answer all my questions. We took the plunge and switched about two and a half years ago, and I am so glad that we did. The results?
*Less work than taking out the trash. YAY! I do a few extra loads of laundry, but tossing them into the washer and then into the dryer isn't much. It isn't like you need to fold and iron them.
*Not gross. No dunking and swirling. Eww. I have a bag made from the same fabric as the diapers, so I toss the diapers in there, and just empty the bag. If there is solid poop just hold the diaper over the toilet and it rolls right off the fleece. BTW, did you know that you are supposed to do that with disposables, too? Check the box!
*Better for babies' skin. Our kids are prone to eczema, but almost never have diaper rash (and we never use creams, etc.). The fleece keeps their skin dry, and it is soooo soft. I'd be much more comfortable w/ soft fleece than with paper undies. Also, have you looked at the bleach and chemicals that can be absorbed into your skin from the disposables? Scary stuff!
*Better for the environment. Think about the huge piles of diapers that your baby can go through in a week, then multiply that by the time it takes to potty train, and then try to imagine it just for the kids in your family--for us we would be talking a large hill, maybe small mountain. That doesn't even get into the environmental impact from manufacturing disposables.
*$$$. We have saved so much money. We were spending close to $100/month on disposables. We spent less than $500 to get all our Fuzzi Bunz (including a set of mediums and a set of large). That covered Ariana for almost one year, Joel from two months all the way through potty training, and Elena from about 6 weeks through potty training. Wow. Be warned, though--they can get addictive.
*CUTENESS! There are so many colors and designs. You can coordinate to perfectly match outfits, and in the summer they can even double as shorts.
*Easy. We use pockets, which you stuff to create the perfect absorbency. So we add an extra insert for overnight. No leaks. They have adjustable snaps, so you don't worry about pins, and they grow to fit your kids. Also, our little ones tend towards small waists and chubby thighs, and these custom fit them. Joel wore mediums on different settings from 2 months to 15 months.
I just wish we had used them with Ariana from the beginning.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor
Today is Carlos' birthday :) He has gotten food gifts from every class, including two key lime pies, several bag of chips and multiple snack bars. I ordered a hard to find DVD that he had been wanting, and we're having a party tomorrow with lots of former colleagues and old friends. We're both looking forward to seeing them.
I've also got a new class starting tomorrow. New classes are fun, although this one is long (3 hours) and uses the new book, which I *really* dislike. It is full, which is always good news. Also great news is that Carlos is going to bing Elena by to nurse so I don't have to pump. I'm tempted to just wear her to class like I did with Joel, but I won't on the first day. I'll give them a day or two before showing off my full hippy-parenting ;)
I've been reading the book by Dr. Wootan--it is fantastic. Great medical advice, solid breastfeeding info (even some stuff that I was unfamiliar with), does NOT recommend vaccinating, does recommend co-sleeping, and has a nice section on discipline, too. It is cool to read the book and also have a window into their lives from things his brother (Elena's doctor!) has mentioned about their family. I highly recommend it!
One last comment about Carlos--I am so grateful to be his wife. He is such an amazing man. Every day with him is a gift for me.
I've also got a new class starting tomorrow. New classes are fun, although this one is long (3 hours) and uses the new book, which I *really* dislike. It is full, which is always good news. Also great news is that Carlos is going to bing Elena by to nurse so I don't have to pump. I'm tempted to just wear her to class like I did with Joel, but I won't on the first day. I'll give them a day or two before showing off my full hippy-parenting ;)
I've been reading the book by Dr. Wootan--it is fantastic. Great medical advice, solid breastfeeding info (even some stuff that I was unfamiliar with), does NOT recommend vaccinating, does recommend co-sleeping, and has a nice section on discipline, too. It is cool to read the book and also have a window into their lives from things his brother (Elena's doctor!) has mentioned about their family. I highly recommend it!
One last comment about Carlos--I am so grateful to be his wife. He is such an amazing man. Every day with him is a gift for me.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
What are you looking at?
Isn't it funny how we reveal what we are focusing on? Looking back at some old pictures, every now and then I'd noticed how one seemed off-centered. If I thought about it, though, it would make sense. I had a few pics of myself with some friends that were very lopsided, but I remembered that the guy who took the pictures had a crush on one of my friends. Even though she was on the end of the group, she was the center of the photo.
Of course, anyone who has ever driven a car knows the same thing--the car tends to move toward whatever you are looking at. It takes a great deal of control to look at something and not turn the wheel toward it. Some of my happiest memories are of trips driving back and forth to Mexico with my grandparents. Some of my most terrifying memories are of those same trips. My grandpa notices everything, and many times we would be on mountain roads that are all curves, not even a brief stretch that is straight, when he would gesture with one arm at birds or some particularly interesting scenery off in the distance. The rest of us would grip the sides of the truck with all our strength and implore him to watch the road. Thankfully, (I suspect angelic intervention) my visions of a fiery death at the bottom of one of the mountains never materialized.
I think this is one of the reasons why God calls us to forgive. When we allow hurts to fester, we start to focus on the very qualities that we dislike in someone else, and eventually that focus creates similar qualities in us.
In parenting, I've been challenged to stop and think about what I really want for my children. Do I want to focus on showing them Jesus? Or do I really just want them to be convenient? This morning, I yelled at Joel for making a mess, and then realized that my focus was off. He wasn't even disobeying or doing anything dangerous. He was experimenting with all his God-given two-year-old curiosity (flour, sugar, water and several cups can do a surprising number of experiments in a remarkably short time). Once I corrected my attitude and got my focus back where it should be, we cleaned the mess together and our day got much better.
Unlike my camera, I don't have an auto-focus. I have to manually stop and refocus when my priorities get out of whack. Maybe I should stick up some blurry or off-center photos here and there to remind me.
Of course, anyone who has ever driven a car knows the same thing--the car tends to move toward whatever you are looking at. It takes a great deal of control to look at something and not turn the wheel toward it. Some of my happiest memories are of trips driving back and forth to Mexico with my grandparents. Some of my most terrifying memories are of those same trips. My grandpa notices everything, and many times we would be on mountain roads that are all curves, not even a brief stretch that is straight, when he would gesture with one arm at birds or some particularly interesting scenery off in the distance. The rest of us would grip the sides of the truck with all our strength and implore him to watch the road. Thankfully, (I suspect angelic intervention) my visions of a fiery death at the bottom of one of the mountains never materialized.
I think this is one of the reasons why God calls us to forgive. When we allow hurts to fester, we start to focus on the very qualities that we dislike in someone else, and eventually that focus creates similar qualities in us.
In parenting, I've been challenged to stop and think about what I really want for my children. Do I want to focus on showing them Jesus? Or do I really just want them to be convenient? This morning, I yelled at Joel for making a mess, and then realized that my focus was off. He wasn't even disobeying or doing anything dangerous. He was experimenting with all his God-given two-year-old curiosity (flour, sugar, water and several cups can do a surprising number of experiments in a remarkably short time). Once I corrected my attitude and got my focus back where it should be, we cleaned the mess together and our day got much better.
Unlike my camera, I don't have an auto-focus. I have to manually stop and refocus when my priorities get out of whack. Maybe I should stick up some blurry or off-center photos here and there to remind me.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A happy day
Yesterday was such a fun day. We got up, ate cookies and drank coffee (alas,my yummy beans from the Italian Coffee Company are almost gone :(). Then got dressed and ready. This involved some negotiation by Ariana, who has worn sparkly T-shirts with butterflies, two or three necklaces, a pink or purple skirt and shiny violet shoes every day for nearly two weeks. The shiny violet shoes are a little bit too big and not suitable for climbing. However, for some reason, they are preferable to the light-up hot pink flowered tennis shoes. After a moments reflection, she came up with the suggestion that she wear the shiny shoes in the car, but put on the tennies before we went anywhere that would involve climbing. Everyone was happy :)
We grabbed a more substantial breakfast on the way to pick up Carlos' mom. (I'm part Hobbit: first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses...). The drive to the Science Museum is a couple of hours, which is perfect--long enough to feel like you've taken a trip, but not so long that everyone is sick of the car. By happy coincidence, my parents were finishing up their own trip in this area, so it worked out for us to meet for lunch.
We went to Bricktown and enjoyed a nice little stroll near the canal, then ate yummy BBQ. Once we were thoroughly stuffed, we headed to the museum to walk a little of it off. Ariana and Joel immediately raced to the largest spiral slide in the US and could have happily spent hours climbing the steps and sliding down. But there were too many other fun things to stay there for long.
The elaborate train exhibits particularly fascinated Joel. Both kids were delighted with the air play station. It ha kid scissors, plenty of paper plates and cups for cutting and a wind tunnel. They spent a long time cutting elaborate variations and then watching them fly up the tunnel at different speeds. The climbing walls were also lots of fun. Then it was on to the bubble-stations, full of soapy water and lots of bubble-wands. Ariana's favorite part of the day was going inside the fire station and sliding down the pole *all by herself*. Everyone was nice and sleepy on the ride home, only waking up for an ice-cream stop. All in all, it was a very happy day.
We grabbed a more substantial breakfast on the way to pick up Carlos' mom. (I'm part Hobbit: first breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses...). The drive to the Science Museum is a couple of hours, which is perfect--long enough to feel like you've taken a trip, but not so long that everyone is sick of the car. By happy coincidence, my parents were finishing up their own trip in this area, so it worked out for us to meet for lunch.
We went to Bricktown and enjoyed a nice little stroll near the canal, then ate yummy BBQ. Once we were thoroughly stuffed, we headed to the museum to walk a little of it off. Ariana and Joel immediately raced to the largest spiral slide in the US and could have happily spent hours climbing the steps and sliding down. But there were too many other fun things to stay there for long.
The elaborate train exhibits particularly fascinated Joel. Both kids were delighted with the air play station. It ha kid scissors, plenty of paper plates and cups for cutting and a wind tunnel. They spent a long time cutting elaborate variations and then watching them fly up the tunnel at different speeds. The climbing walls were also lots of fun. Then it was on to the bubble-stations, full of soapy water and lots of bubble-wands. Ariana's favorite part of the day was going inside the fire station and sliding down the pole *all by herself*. Everyone was nice and sleepy on the ride home, only waking up for an ice-cream stop. All in all, it was a very happy day.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Romans 8:28 also applies to dead batteries (Busy and Blessed Mamas--remember this?)
One of the best things about joining the modern world (aka getting on Facebook) has been getting back in touch with people I haven't seen recently. In particular, I've been enjoying hearing about BlessedMama and BusyMomma and their families. Their blogs are in my list--check them out if you haven't already. One reason that it has been cool to reestablish contact is because I first got to know them and God better at the same time.
I was about the same age Ariana is now, and feeling pretty heartsore. Nothing terribly tragic, but I had had a lot of adjustments in the past year. We had moved from Mexico, leaving all my friends, my dog and what I was used to, my parents were on the brink of divorce, and even though I had a wonderful, loving family, it was a lot to handle.
A beautiful spot in all of this was when BusyMomma and BlessedMama's family came to visit us for a little while. I was in awe of them, because they were Big Girls (at least a year or two older than I) and they knew all sorts of stuff, but they played with me! I remember laughing and laughing, and feeling so happy. Then I was distressed to hear that they were leaving the next morning. It was way too soon. I started to protest, and they confidently suggested that we pray about it.
Now, as the daughter and granddaughter of pastors, this wasn't a new concept, but it is the first time I remember deliberately asking God for something. We very seriously prayed that we would get another day together.
If our parents had been aware of this, they might have been a bit concerned, and felt obligated to point out all the cautions about how God might not answer this prayer the way we wanted Him to, and so on. But with a children's disregard for adult schedules and commitments, we simply told God that we wanted more time together. And we got it! The next day, much to the frustration of the adults, the battery was dead. By the time it was fixed, it was too late to start out, and they stayed another night. I can still remember the gladness, not only for extra time with special friends, but the delight that God cared enough to do listen and do something just because I asked Him. Wow!
From a theological perspective, there could be all kinds of arguments against attributing this to God, I know. Does God burn out batteries on vans? Possibly not. But for a sad little girl, it was proof that He answers prayer, and sparked faith that He would attend to other requests, whether trivial or profound. So, D and C, thanks so much for your friendship, then and now, and for being part of my first answered prayer. I know your parents would consider replacing a battery worth it to teach a child about God's love and involvement in our lives. And anyone else who is going through something frustrating, whether it is car trouble or something entirely different, you never know--God might use it in ways you would never expect.
I was about the same age Ariana is now, and feeling pretty heartsore. Nothing terribly tragic, but I had had a lot of adjustments in the past year. We had moved from Mexico, leaving all my friends, my dog and what I was used to, my parents were on the brink of divorce, and even though I had a wonderful, loving family, it was a lot to handle.
A beautiful spot in all of this was when BusyMomma and BlessedMama's family came to visit us for a little while. I was in awe of them, because they were Big Girls (at least a year or two older than I) and they knew all sorts of stuff, but they played with me! I remember laughing and laughing, and feeling so happy. Then I was distressed to hear that they were leaving the next morning. It was way too soon. I started to protest, and they confidently suggested that we pray about it.
Now, as the daughter and granddaughter of pastors, this wasn't a new concept, but it is the first time I remember deliberately asking God for something. We very seriously prayed that we would get another day together.
If our parents had been aware of this, they might have been a bit concerned, and felt obligated to point out all the cautions about how God might not answer this prayer the way we wanted Him to, and so on. But with a children's disregard for adult schedules and commitments, we simply told God that we wanted more time together. And we got it! The next day, much to the frustration of the adults, the battery was dead. By the time it was fixed, it was too late to start out, and they stayed another night. I can still remember the gladness, not only for extra time with special friends, but the delight that God cared enough to do listen and do something just because I asked Him. Wow!
From a theological perspective, there could be all kinds of arguments against attributing this to God, I know. Does God burn out batteries on vans? Possibly not. But for a sad little girl, it was proof that He answers prayer, and sparked faith that He would attend to other requests, whether trivial or profound. So, D and C, thanks so much for your friendship, then and now, and for being part of my first answered prayer. I know your parents would consider replacing a battery worth it to teach a child about God's love and involvement in our lives. And anyone else who is going through something frustrating, whether it is car trouble or something entirely different, you never know--God might use it in ways you would never expect.
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