Breastfeeding: A Private and Sacred Act?

How's *that* for a provocative image?! Jesus and a saint tandem nursing! 

Honestly, I am tired of crusading.  I don't want to be a lactivist.  I'm just a mom, who is enough, thankyouverymuch, just like all the other moms I know who are enough (regardless of what they feed their child).  I half-heartedly shared some articles on the recent Time magazine cover, primarily because I consider one of the models, the lovely Dionna Ford of Code Name: Mama to be both a hero and friend of mine.  I knew to stay far, far away from the magazine comments, and figured that people on my Facebook page are so used to breastfeeding pics and articles from me that it wouldn't provoke any comments from them.

But a friend whom I like and respect said something to the effect that although nursing a three year old is normal, doing it on the cover of a magazine is not.  She commented that nothing was private and sacred anymore.  And she is not alone.  I have heard variations of that from many breastfeeding moms, as well as the general public.  This is my response:

Is bottle-feeding a private and sacred act?  Would you have the same reaction to a three year old drinking from a bottle or sippy cup on a magazine cover?  I agree that there is something sacred about breastfeeding, but I see the same love, beauty and holiness in other acts of a parent caring for their child (including a mother or father bottle feeding with love). 

Sacred?  Yes (although there are plenty of moments when it certainly doesn't feel sacred).  Private?  No.  Why should it be?  Because there are breasts involved?  If that is your reasoning, then you are getting back to the whole breastfeeding is sexual thing, which is quite frankly both ludicrous and offensive.  


As a Christian, I believe that breastfeeding in public contributes to a greater understanding of Scripture passages.  The Bible is full of breastfeeding imagery (in fact, God refers to Himself as El Shaddai, which can mean the many breasted one!).   Psalms describes the perfect peace and contentment of an older child who has weaned.  We are told to desire God's Word the way a baby desires milk.  Yet so many people are unable to grasp the full meaning of this because they haven't seen breastfeeding and are unaware of all the beautiful things that are implied.   As my friend Claire said, that passage isn't just about nutrition.

"Peter's imagining that great big grin as your hungry baby sees that he's about to get what he wants, and the responsiveness of the relationship, and the bonding and the contented, milk-drunk smile at the end... If we don't provide that subconscious imagery, who will?"

What about modesty?  Discretion?  Causing our brothers to stumble?   I get it that breasts have a sexual function.  There are Scriptural passages about the erotic functions of breasts, too, (at least King Solomon was very open about his enjoyment of them...and possibly one of the first poets to compare them to coconuts).  Ahem.  Anyway, despite that, breastfeeding is not a sexual function.  My lips multitask, too.  They can be used in kissing and...so on... in private, but also for eating in public.  I do realize that in this country, breasts are typically covered up unless they are being used sexually, but in other places even women who wear a burqa for modesty are allowed to expose their breasts to nurse their babies.

I reject the idea that men are slavering beasts, under such a compulsion that the act of a mother feeding her child will stir uncontrollable lust.  That is insulting and ridiculous for the men I have known (some of whom, at least--though I haven't discussed it with all of them, to be sure--are fully sensitive to the erotic qualities of breasts in context).  And if it is true in an individual case, I believe that the Godly response is to help that man become free, not to pander to his lustful obsession by insisting that all women everywhere avoid feeding their children in public, just in case.  There are men who are turned on by a woman's feet.  We don't insist that women were furry boots to make sure that they don't cause someone to stumble.  A Christian father sums it up well:

"Our energies should not be put toward 'correcting the behavior' of nursing women because, as I stated before, breastfeeding in public is not a sinful act but a natural one. The breast may occasionally serve a dual function - both for pleasure and for a baby's nourishment and comfort. But you cannot put limitations on nursing, and use God's design of men and women's sexual companionship to support your limitations. They are separate functions - one does not take precedence or dominance over the other."

All acts of love are sacred.  But the sacred and the mundane twine themselves so closely that most of the time they are blurred together.  I have heard too many people romanticize the idea of breastfeeding into the tender, mother Mary halo moment, far removed from everyday parenting.  Motherhood does not mean a life in cloister, locked away from public interaction until the child has weaned.  And if you suggest pumping before every outing, I will gently suggest that your knowledge of how breastfeeding works is pretty much non-existent.

I do not believe that breastfeeding is meant to be a private act.  It is simply a way to mother our children and meet their needs (for comfort as well as nutrition) wherever we happen to be.


P.S.  The friend whose comments sparked this post is a mom who supports extended breastfeeding, and this post is not an attack on her in any way.  I took a comment and ran with it.  :)  We continued the conversation and I think that we agree on far more than we disagree.

P.P.S.  If you really want to put the Time magazine photos in perspective, check out the Historic Photos and Prints of Breastfeeding page on Facebook!

Image credit: quinet on Flickr