tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post4630892916972940381..comments2023-08-04T06:10:55.445-07:00Comments on Dulce de leche: But They Look So Happy!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-28771274896062462722014-03-06T17:41:22.743-08:002014-03-06T17:41:22.743-08:00This is beautifully done, Dulce. Thank you for bei...This is beautifully done, Dulce. Thank you for being brave.dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11991172981000479793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-44927480048094827922014-01-02T20:35:55.444-08:002014-01-02T20:35:55.444-08:00Such a beautiful and truthful article. Thank you!...Such a beautiful and truthful article. Thank you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14892381806844107087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-39132176617043919902012-09-08T00:51:28.846-07:002012-09-08T00:51:28.846-07:00Thank you for this article. I... The Pearls have s...Thank you for this article. I... The Pearls have sickened me since the moment I first heard of them. I honestly believe they are evil--twisting Scripture to suit their own agenda. If ever Satan actually used scripture to twist hearts and get Man to do evil, it was in this way. :(Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06710952343278124124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-39824884680346602522012-06-27T07:30:36.978-07:002012-06-27T07:30:36.978-07:00Oops--my link didn't work. Here you go: Why ...Oops--my link didn't work. Here you go: <a href="http://whynottrainachild.com/" rel="nofollow">Why Not Train a Child</a>dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-38044764193457763702012-06-27T07:28:37.895-07:002012-06-27T07:28:37.895-07:00Thank you. I, too, consider the Bible my authorit...Thank you. I, too, consider the Bible my authority and Jesus my example and authority. I do not want to attack you in any way, but if you would like to understand some of my concerns about the Pearls, please check out <a rel="nofollow"> Why Not Train a Child </a>.dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-81424715357416712092012-06-27T06:14:43.526-07:002012-06-27T06:14:43.526-07:00Thanks for your respectful response. I respectful...Thanks for your respectful response. I respectfully agree to disagree. The Bible is my authority, and Jesus is my example. I'm also a fan of the Pearls, and my children are alive and well.Janes Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03349913837666948896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-89804652895177362282012-06-26T17:08:54.302-07:002012-06-26T17:08:54.302-07:00Thank you for sharing your perspective! I believe...Thank you for sharing your perspective! I believe that the Duggars have many wonderful qualities (the snarky side of me would specify 49). However, I am still of the opinion that it is impossible to be authentic if you believe that anger and sadness for personal reasons are sinful. I also think that their recommendation of the reprehensible and abusive materials by the Pearls is a very grave mistake, and pray that it does not lead to more child deaths. <br /><br />I agree that God hates divorce. As I stated, I believe that divorce is more than a paper, however. I do not believe that God calls us to enable unrepentant sin in a marriage partner by allowing abuse to continue. In the context of this post, it seems as if you are implying that God would prefer for someone to remain in abuse than to sign a divorce paper. If that is not your opinion, then I apologize for misunderstanding. If it is, I vehemently disagree. Sadly, the patriarchal system endorsed by the Duggars' spiritual leaders leaves very little recourse for a woman whose husband is abusing her or their children, and in fact often furthers the abuse.dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-9118535199016622592012-06-26T14:28:55.250-07:002012-06-26T14:28:55.250-07:00I disagree. I think the Duggars are an amazing Go...I disagree. I think the Duggars are an amazing Godly family. They cried and grieved when their baby died. Their joy is in the Lord, and it's a beautiful thing. As for divorce, the Bible clearly says God hates it.Janes Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03349913837666948896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-19822420441920161322012-04-09T14:03:55.598-07:002012-04-09T14:03:55.598-07:00I missed this one when you posted it, but I just w...I missed this one when you posted it, but I just wanted to chime in to say thanks for continuing to shed light on this subject. It really is amazing(ly sad) how children can be brought up to hide their emotions. You're helping me understand better what I'm seeing in the Duggars. It's all so distressing, though. :(Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-24962115288749504732012-02-08T11:40:02.995-08:002012-02-08T11:40:02.995-08:00It depends of their culture , And the same i am ag...It depends of their culture , And the same i am agree with @betsy comment "I don't think people would be so anxious about children crying if they'd been allowed to properly cry when they needed to as children. Just a theory."mensajes clarohttp://mensajes-claro.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-33008340180009981342011-12-19T13:38:49.951-08:002011-12-19T13:38:49.951-08:00I shamefully admit to blindly following my church...I shamefully admit to blindly following my church in doing the "Pearl" teaching. Ugh! I thankfully realized a few years back how ungodly this was and ran away as fast as my feet could carry me. <br /><br />My family and I are so much happier now. It's amazing what grace and God can do when added to discipline.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing and I look forward to reading more.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10689159388778616060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-753563320629020012011-11-26T19:26:47.196-08:002011-11-26T19:26:47.196-08:00This is sad, sad, sad. I feel kinda sick. Thanks f...This is sad, sad, sad. I feel kinda sick. Thanks for sharing it Dulce - people need their eyes open about these thingsTerrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09684698960387428709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-30218242273798309582011-11-18T15:14:52.818-08:002011-11-18T15:14:52.818-08:00I was going to point out the "Jesus wept"...I was going to point out the "Jesus wept" verse, too. Or the Psalms, or the entire book of Lamentations. Our emotions are what they are. I wasn't raised in an environment like you're describing, but did have trouble expressing my emotions. I have to stop myself from telling my children not to cry, so I make myself affirm their feelings, let them know it's OK to feel what they're feeling. I know I could be a lot better at that, though. I definitely don't go for the Gothard/Pearl/etc. philosophies. I have no objection to large families - I want a large family (won't have 20, I'm sure, because of logistics if no other reason), but am saddened by those parenting philosophies.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16376858784972563684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-70994388433896402132011-11-16T19:49:49.365-08:002011-11-16T19:49:49.365-08:00"Jesus wept." (It is the shortest verse ..."Jesus wept." (It is the shortest verse in the bible so I remember it!)<br /><br />I always think of this verse when I hear the Duggars talking about showing a happy/joyful countenance. Jesus was not happy all the time and, as we are suppose to follow his example, I see no reason why we have to be happy all the time either.Miggynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-35875959220789242692011-11-13T16:53:06.758-08:002011-11-13T16:53:06.758-08:00This is so sad. It's even worse when you consi...This is so sad. It's even worse when you consider that the majority of people seem to ignore these facts. I'm glad some people have the courage to speak the truth! Thank you dulce de leche!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-60471118907489825492011-11-12T19:01:19.517-08:002011-11-12T19:01:19.517-08:00Thank you all so very much for sharing you experie...Thank you all so very much for sharing you experiences. Your comments mean so much to me. To be honest, this post has stirred up some things that I am still processing. I will come back later to respond more specifically to your comments. Love and grace to you!dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-22124926190741012262011-11-12T04:45:27.938-08:002011-11-12T04:45:27.938-08:00I grew in the same kind of environment. I was the ...I grew in the same kind of environment. I was the second oldest of eight, and my stepfather would paddle my younger siblings more if they kept crying. One of my little brothers in particular was very sensitive to pain, and I remember how awful my sisters and I would feel as we sat in our room listening to him trying in vain to choke back his sobs.<br /><br />I never watch the Duggar show. I don't want to be reminded of my own upbringing any more than I have to.Rebecca Newmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03935383254039552080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-26138771858386854912011-11-12T04:39:05.509-08:002011-11-12T04:39:05.509-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Rebecca Newmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03935383254039552080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-46432556158791399932011-11-09T19:46:12.234-08:002011-11-09T19:46:12.234-08:00Wow - thank you for this information. I grew up wi...Wow - thank you for this information. I grew up with divorced parents. My dad was Catholic. My mom, however was pentecostal. That was just nuts and I think it shaped many of my (dis)beliefs today. <br /><br />I'm glad that I know a little more about that family. Though I wasn't a die-hard fan or anything, I did watch from time to time. I did often wonder why, out of all of those kids, none of them acted out for attention or cried or even looked sad. It was just weird. I won't be supporting the show by watching again.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07335982303703120909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-80785831364169914392011-11-09T19:15:38.859-08:002011-11-09T19:15:38.859-08:00This post really nails down what disturbs me a lit...This post really nails down what disturbs me a little bit about the Duggars. Sheila said something to the effect of how if you try to explain your depression when you seemed so happy, people will say you're just re-writing history. I've definitely encountered this! It's sad and painful.<br /><br />What disturbs me is the idea that if you seem unhappy, you're shaming God. Jesus was drawn to the ones drowning in sorrow and pain, so that he could weep with them (so they're not alone) and heal them. He didn't say, "You must force yourself to look happy so that you won't shame Me and My Father." He said, "I've come to restore, heal, serve, and love." I've come to love Jesus who loved everyone, despite what their appearance was.<br /><br />Great post!Kaylanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-37177368989854166252011-11-09T13:44:12.810-08:002011-11-09T13:44:12.810-08:00I used to be part of a cult (not a fundamentalist ...I used to be part of a cult (not a fundamentalist one), and it was the same there. Our catchphrase was "your face belongs to the others." It took me a long time to realize that my face belongs to ME! It's okay for me to feel however I feel like feeling. ;) <br /><br />And of course I get angry when people look at this cult and say, "But clearly there's nothing wrong with it! They're so happy!" Even my own family didn't believe me when I told them I'd been deeply depressed. They told me again and again that I was just re-writing history and that "they could tell I was happy." It's like people don't realize how easy happiness is to fake.<br /><br />A friend who was raised with no crying allowed suffers from depression now ... only no one can ever tell she's unhappy. The only way I know is that she stops calling me. Even her boyfriend has to hunt her down and say, "You're unhappy right now. You need to deal with this." Often, she hasn't even realized she was unhappy. Just felt out of sorts with no reason why.<br /><br />Let me tell you: everyone needs a good cry from time to time!Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-58906603933953004462011-11-09T13:16:26.504-08:002011-11-09T13:16:26.504-08:00We were supposed to cry quietly as well. Any loud ...We were supposed to cry quietly as well. Any loud crying or screaming would get us more whacks. Oddly enough we HAD to cry, otherwise they would spank until we DID. (When we were older, mom's spankings stopped hurting but we had to pretend to cry anyway. lol)QuicksilverQueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11557037093560947882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-72977530538319555892011-11-09T10:56:17.225-08:002011-11-09T10:56:17.225-08:00I remember my pastors wife telling me she thought ...I remember my pastors wife telling me she thought they were creepy. Now I know why.Celestehttp://intentionalbrownmama.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-50977808853241516962011-11-09T10:44:07.628-08:002011-11-09T10:44:07.628-08:00When my mother would spank us, she would order us ...When my mother would spank us, she would order us to "cry quietly." Screaming or outright crying meant more spanking, only whimpering was acceptable. I'd never connected that to what you discuss here, but I would guess there is a connection.Libby Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10562805251128821984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-41851531516847976132011-11-09T10:08:51.889-08:002011-11-09T10:08:51.889-08:00Very interesting. I had not heard of that belief s...Very interesting. I had not heard of that belief system and my eyes have now been opened to a whole different side of family life that's out there. Thanks for sharing, I love your blog as always. :)Adriennehttp://mommyingmyway.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com