tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post1051334005134537739..comments2023-08-04T06:10:55.445-07:00Comments on Dulce de leche: The Tightrope : Generations, Cultures and ChoicesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-46058463071231587792012-02-16T17:15:04.472-08:002012-02-16T17:15:04.472-08:00I wish, wish, wish I had that kind of family invol...I wish, wish, wish I had that kind of family involvement! It helps that I agree with my mom about 90% of everything and my MIL about maybe 70%, and they are both extremely respectful about my decisions anyway. Meanwhile our own grandparents, though they didn't raise children the way we do, seem to be coming around as well. My husband's grandma was near tears watching me interact with my son, saying "I wish someone had ever told me it was all right to follow my instincts!" In a way, we can heal our parents and grandparents by showing them a new way. It can take a long time, though, and preaching doesn't seem to do the trick.<br /><br />Still, count your blessings that you have them all around like that. Your children are lucky to be raised among so much family.Sheilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10853868724554947854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-63837424424808241732012-02-15T11:48:34.441-08:002012-02-15T11:48:34.441-08:00I am a gringa but have a suegra (my husband is Col...I am a gringa but have a suegra (my husband is Colombian), so I have much to learn from this post. Mostly I try to steer clear of these conversations all together. I know she thinks I'm a weirdo for breastfeeding at all... along with everything else. I'm glad I've convinced my husband at least!Betsy (Eco-novice)http://www.eco-novice.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-91051733500579715612012-02-15T11:17:29.423-08:002012-02-15T11:17:29.423-08:00Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences...Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences and for all of the kind words and encouragement. Family relationships are challenging, aren't they? I am so grateful for all of the wisdom, peace and love that you all share!dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-21279752683817703062012-02-15T08:56:59.863-08:002012-02-15T08:56:59.863-08:00What a wonderful post on bridging our (generationa...What a wonderful post on bridging our (generational) differences with love. And I like your point about modeling standing firm in the face of disagreement - and respectfully, at that!Dionna @ Code Name: Mamahttp://codenamemama.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-17116081553795719182012-02-14T22:19:37.941-08:002012-02-14T22:19:37.941-08:00Beautiful post. I regret that I have never asked m...Beautiful post. I regret that I have never asked my mom for parenting advice. I just wanted to do everything different and felt so much confidence in myself and my choices that I've never felt the need. I wonder if it disappoints her? She's probably still waiting for me to say, "you were right" about some thing she said or did when I was a kid. Yet, I do appreciate her so much as my mother and grandmother to my child. I've just gotta figure out ways to express that more! <br /><br />I've actually avoided writing about certain topics like spanking because she spanked us sometimes, and I don't want to make her feel guilty about it. Yet, like with your family, she was more gentle than her mom, who was more gentle than <i>her</i>. <br /><br />Thanks for this reminder to show my mom more appreciation!Lisa Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00110779167509779880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-27181164920493437502012-02-14T21:12:34.211-08:002012-02-14T21:12:34.211-08:00Thank you for this! I'm lucky that my mom is t...Thank you for this! I'm lucky that my mom is totally onboard with our parenting - but my partner's mom totally is not. Even on basic things, like not spanking our son, we can't trust her. But he loves her, and wants to visit/stay with her, and I want to give him that closeness. The daughter-in-law thing makes it even harder. <br /><br />I'm trying to be less defensive and more open with her, while not giving up on important boundaries. Distance makes it easier and harder - more time to reflect and regroup between visits, but fewer, longer, more weighted time together.Rosanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-30176504238313910172012-02-14T17:07:53.926-08:002012-02-14T17:07:53.926-08:00I completely feel like expressing how we are plann...I completely feel like expressing how we are planning to do things comes across like my parents are ignorant (which they are not) and I worry about offending them when they offer suggestions we don't take. This is coupled with the fact that my parents live 9 hrs away and my husband parents are just 1 hr away. I often wonder if my mom wonders if I listen to my MIL more than I listen to her. For the record, I listen to both equally and discard most of what they say.Prof. Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15300702154669290410noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-38911158474683146182012-02-14T13:16:25.154-08:002012-02-14T13:16:25.154-08:00I really appreciate your perspective for this carn...I really appreciate your perspective for this carnival. Sometimes I feel like I'm "cheating" by having moved far away from my extended family so that there's no need to day-in-day-out figure out ways to work through the areas of conflict. I'll take your words to heart for when we do come in contact with each other, and I hope my children might have a closer relationship still with me when they have their own children, if I can figure out how to model that!Lauren Waynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500733577920040395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-77294267818929711482012-02-14T12:35:06.340-08:002012-02-14T12:35:06.340-08:00I envy the built-in community that you have with s...I envy the built-in community that you have with such a close extended-family network. I recognize, also, that the benefits of that family structure does come with a tricky balancing act between independence and making your own choices and honoring others' wisdom and also validating their life experiences. It sounds like you're finding an perfect path for you to share and meld your experiences into something that works beautifully for the whole family!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10950605728434169576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-52520744127555591562012-02-14T11:09:36.939-08:002012-02-14T11:09:36.939-08:00I love this post because sometimes with my parents...I love this post because sometimes with my parents I feel like a child again question my own decisions. And you make great points as standing strong while being respectful I love this point."However, how can I teach my children about healthy ways to handle disagreements and standing firm in their convictions if they don’t see me practice it?"<br />ThanksLani @ Boobie Time Bloghttp://boobietime.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-23714020170657664182012-02-14T06:59:33.994-08:002012-02-14T06:59:33.994-08:00One of the things I've found most helpful in m...One of the things I've found most helpful in my relationship with my mom-which has been a bit bumpy as I've chosen a much different parenting path than she did-is to ask questions and listen about the advice she received from doctors and society when I was a baby and then talk about how it is different now. It helps frame our different choices more fairly-not that, like you said, I am rejecting her, but that I have "greater tools and resources" :)Lindsayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08307119158765850624noreply@blogger.com