tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post6226109565219857807..comments2023-08-04T06:10:55.445-07:00Comments on Dulce de leche: Spanking in anger--what does it matter?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-71219282878109113822013-03-03T19:27:24.890-08:002013-03-03T19:27:24.890-08:00Their site covers that: http://www.spencerplanspan...Their site covers that: http://www.spencerplanspanking.com/planhistory.htmldulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-55216705002216597052013-03-03T19:13:55.977-08:002013-03-03T19:13:55.977-08:00Spencer spanking plan is a hoax. It is NOT in the ...Spencer spanking plan is a hoax. It is NOT in the library of Congress. It was created on the internet. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-88900603110191206852012-12-15T19:07:05.935-08:002012-12-15T19:07:05.935-08:00Thank you for your article on spanking and sheddin...Thank you for your article on spanking and shedding light on what it really is. I wanted to share with you and your community a project that I am working on to raise awareness of the destructive effects of spanking.<br /><br />Here are some recent posts:<br />What Researchers Say About Spanking<br />http://stopspanking.org/2012/12/05/what-researchers-say-about-spanking/<br /><br />I was Spanked, and I'm OK<br />http://stopspanking.org/2012/11/27/i-was-spanked-and-i-turned-out-ok-did-you-2/<br /><br />Check us out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/protectchildrenfromviolence?ref=hl<br /><br />Robbyn Peters Bennett<br />StopSpanking.orgRobbyn Peters Bennetthttp://www.stopspanking.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-42068598774043058632012-12-15T19:05:36.295-08:002012-12-15T19:05:36.295-08:00Thank you for your article on spanking and sheddin...Thank you for your article on spanking and shedding light on what it really is. I wanted to share with you and your community a project that I am working on to raise awareness of the destructive effects of spanking.<br /><br />Here are some recent posts:<br />What Researchers Say About Spanking<br />http://stopspanking.org/2012/12/05/what-researchers-say-about-spanking/<br /><br />I was Spanked, and I'm OK<br />http://stopspanking.org/2012/11/27/i-was-spanked-and-i-turned-out-ok-did-you-2/<br /><br />Check us out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/protectchildrenfromviolence?ref=hl<br /><br />Robbyn Peters Bennett<br />StopSpanking.orgAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-40350514826437333832012-11-29T18:59:36.129-08:002012-11-29T18:59:36.129-08:00So good, Dulce. I loved this. SO much wisdom. I th...So good, Dulce. I loved this. SO much wisdom. I thought this was most poignant: "So if even the parent can't always tell whether they are spanking in anger, how can the child or anyone else evaluate what is in the parent's heart?" Exactly.Kathleen | Becoming Peculiarhttp://becomingpeculiar.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-22781706962805762472012-04-30T19:43:53.997-07:002012-04-30T19:43:53.997-07:00My friend Jim Talbot has this to say:
http://trut...My friend Jim Talbot has this to say:<br /> http://truthcanprevail.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/victims-of-sociopathic-or-sadistic-acts/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-82024945689916827542011-07-02T12:21:43.279-07:002011-07-02T12:21:43.279-07:00@Rosemary, thank you so much! I love your blog! ...@Rosemary, thank you so much! I love your blog! <3<br /><br />@Pippi, thank you for sharing your experiences. <3 It is really scary and so horribly sad when people who might otherwise see things clearly get caught up in cultish patterns. So many of them feel so much shame and pain, yet are so deeply enmeshed that they just keep trying hard and harder to please their leaders. :(dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-19028897204725656262011-07-02T11:45:25.171-07:002011-07-02T11:45:25.171-07:00This is so true. That's interesting that Jews ...This is so true. That's interesting that Jews don't promote spanking. I had my husband's step-father tell me once that Proverbs does tell us when we beat them with the rod, they will not die. In the context of the conversation it seemed he was saying this was license to hit for as long and as hard as the parent sees fit. Shocked, I said that I didn't think that meant the child should actually believe they might die. He disagreed. <br />I think my mom would have broken away from it if it was jus her and my dad. I look back and realize that my dad was not comfortable with the amount of corporal punishment in our house; but being a new convert, and my mom already under the control of people who believed that only the rod of correction could drive away the evil born into every child, he took a back seat. My mom often cried openly when she spanked us, and would say that it hurt her as much as it did us. Of course that wasn't true; but I do think it hurt her. Sadly she was convinced that if the spankings didn't work, it was her fault and we would go to hell because of her neglect. <br />I'm not just mounting a defense for her. I had conversations as an adult with the woman who hammered this crap into her, and was shocked at the anger and contempt this woman displayed towards children in general, and towards my mom for her supposed failures as the religious leader of - get this - MY IN-LAWS HOUSEHOLD! Because they came to church with us for 8 years. That was when I realized that this woman saw us as merely her private cult, woth my mmother as her local enforcer, and none of us were ever really equals in her mind. Even my mom. She talked about having "allowed" my mother to help her with God's work, and that her faith in my mom had been misplaced when it came to my in-laws. Most of my anger towards my mother subsided after that, and was rerouted to the main culprit.Pippihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-76727780294740567162011-06-28T20:40:18.254-07:002011-06-28T20:40:18.254-07:00"If someone you love were to say something th..."If someone you love were to say something that hurt you in a moment of anger, or to say the same thing with the intent to hurt you when they were completely calm, which would be more damaging?" Huge lightbulb moment for me. Such a good point. Thank you for putting it that way.Rosemaryhttp://her.joshandrosemary.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-51696561210252863752011-06-26T00:57:06.712-07:002011-06-26T00:57:06.712-07:00Thank you all so, so much. My heart has been so h...Thank you all so, so much. My heart has been so heavy since posting the letter from M.C. I have heard from so many people who told me that spanking had the same results in them. <br /><br />Young Mom, thank you so much for thr link It is difficukt to read, but so important that it be heard. <br /><br />I am so grateful to each of you for your encouragement and for helping me and others to be intentional and aware as we parent. You are awesome! :)dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-13632467453576052302011-06-26T00:50:31.349-07:002011-06-26T00:50:31.349-07:00Melissa, thank you so very much! That was a beaut...Melissa, thank you so very much! That was a beautiful comment, and what you said about growing away from spanking in a positive way rather than a condemning one is so very powerful. Sometimes get caught up in the negatives and probably come across as very condemning. I appreciate your giving me a lot to think about with that! <3dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-36894676528524450432011-06-25T21:39:30.953-07:002011-06-25T21:39:30.953-07:00Good post. I'm not an anti spanker, but I hav...Good post. I'm not an anti spanker, but I have never thought spanking was a GOOD discipline technique that needed defending! I think of it similar to other things that have been long done without thinking, and then suddenly people realize, hey! That's not so healthy. Why don't we try other things instead?<br /><br />I am aware that you don't share this opinion, but I wanted to be honest. I also wanted to say that this:<br /><br />Grace-based discipline can never be taken too far. (Extreme permissiveness, which is neglect, is not a part of grace-based parenting). You cannot teach (discipline) you child with love and grace too much. You can spank too much or too hard, regardless of whether you are angry or not. Consider, is your goal really to get as close as possible to abuse without crossing the line? Why even go near it at all?<br /><br />Is one of the best arguments I've ever heard in favour of gentle discipline. I don't consider spanking to be abuse, but I don't think it is a good parenting tool. Its archaic. It doesn't make sense that the littlest people in society are the only ones it is still allowable to hit. But it also doesn't make any sense to me that all spanking is damaging or abusive, so I tend to hope parents will grow away from spanking in a positive way, rather than a condemning one. <br /><br />This comment is becoming a novel, sorry. I mostly wanted to say thanks for the great argument, above! I will link you on my own blog...<br /><br />[fwiw, I also have always thought the cold emotionless spanking was creepy, too]melissa v.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14872177586401321895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-65107024148557349892011-06-24T09:07:04.391-07:002011-06-24T09:07:04.391-07:00Thanks for this. It's really good. I don'...Thanks for this. It's really good. I don't think there are many absolutes when it comes to parenting, but this is one of them. I agree that there is no way to spank that won't be harmful to a child.Vickie@Demand_Euphoriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706946767924290485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-86900694006502689362011-06-22T16:24:59.608-07:002011-06-22T16:24:59.608-07:00You are so right. I can think of a family that is ...You are so right. I can think of a family that is in jail now, 22 years for one and 13 for the other.... they were not spanking in anger. They were systematically torturing their children, and it never dawned upon them that they would die.Christie Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09738612207150868577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-41561210509347902722011-06-22T13:02:34.824-07:002011-06-22T13:02:34.824-07:00Yes! My family had that "never spank in anger...Yes! My family had that "never spank in anger" thing, and it was creepy. Calm business like non-emotional. And we were not allowed to show anger or "rebellion" either, my sister wrote about it here. <a href="http://enigmamyjourneyofselfdiscovery.blogspot.com/2011/06/childhood-memories.html?spref=bl" rel="nofollow">Enigma: Childhood Memories</a>:Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13674332089949439989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-82846833223618366792011-06-22T12:55:00.614-07:002011-06-22T12:55:00.614-07:00What a wonderfully thorough explanation. Will be ...What a wonderfully thorough explanation. Will be sharing.Hippie Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14718357472343295031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-89380590696093915642011-06-22T12:29:29.801-07:002011-06-22T12:29:29.801-07:00This is so good! Thank you, thank you, thank you. ...This is so good! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish I could carry you in my back pocket, lol.Megan @ Purple Dancing Dahliashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09589793024632933098noreply@blogger.com