tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post2311601551483338827..comments2023-08-04T06:10:55.445-07:00Comments on Dulce de leche: A Letter To My Divorced FriendsUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-43543536618768547872013-09-24T18:09:46.588-07:002013-09-24T18:09:46.588-07:00Thank you so much for this. *cry* <3Thank you so much for this. *cry* <3AnnaChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13249515647950934995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-60605629444609929762012-01-17T09:15:23.685-08:002012-01-17T09:15:23.685-08:00Love this.Love this.Novemberhttp://womenforallseasons.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-41395455596062090802012-01-12T12:51:58.283-08:002012-01-12T12:51:58.283-08:00((((Hugs)))) Thank you all so much for sharing yo...((((Hugs)))) Thank you all so much for sharing your stories and encouragement. It is heartbreaking that so many have been wounded on top of all the other pain by the very body of Christ who should be sharing your burden and bringing comfort and healing. I am so thankful for all of you. You are making a difference! Love and healing to you! <3dulce de lechehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01641970264436339191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-50833989464837991732012-01-12T10:38:54.063-08:002012-01-12T10:38:54.063-08:00LOVE. <3LOVE. <3Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00960189326441053663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-5187511896917496012012-01-12T05:24:40.079-08:002012-01-12T05:24:40.079-08:00This made me cry! I am going through this right n...This made me cry! I am going through this right now after my lying, cheating, son-of-a-pastor, husband of almost 18 years left me after blaming me for making him "less of a man". I too struggled with the whole God hates divorce piece. And because I am so hard wired for commitment, I was willing to try just about anything to make it work,until the day I met his new "honey" face to face and found her clothes in my bedroom. My pastor now, his father died, also assured me of all the things you put in this post. I will be passing this on to my cousin who went through this as well just 3 years ago. Thank you for this. It means so much to me. And this was the first post I read coming to this blog for the very first time. God is truly in control if we allow Him to be!Beckiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09102201183223594318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-7479925380561914592012-01-11T19:34:41.597-08:002012-01-11T19:34:41.597-08:00thanks. i will be sending this to my friend who re...thanks. i will be sending this to my friend who received a lot of harsh judgement and critism after leaving an abusive husband who had mental issues. many would not believe her side, because he was so good at manipulating.... :( and of course, a good christian woman would not leave her husband, right?!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-63972284169067107072012-01-11T15:02:26.092-08:002012-01-11T15:02:26.092-08:00Wow, thank you so much for that. That was beautifu...Wow, thank you so much for that. That was beautifully written and in the true spirit of God and His love.michelle radtkenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-84222814188503289402012-01-11T06:42:55.462-08:002012-01-11T06:42:55.462-08:00You are so right about God being grieved over the ...You are so right about God being grieved over the loss of a marriage regardless of the paperwork involved. I never heard it put that way before.<br /><br />I always told myself I wouldn't stay for the kids, yet last year I have to admit I did just that. When I finally got the courage to tell my Mom we were separating, she still kept insisting that my reasons were wrong even after admitting I had good reason. The ones I cited just didn't match up for her. And then I didn't stand by forcing him to move out in the end, because when I finally did insist, he went to stay with his brother, and I wasn't willing to let the boys visit there. I also wasn't willing to go to court and demand full custody.<br /><br />I think I have more issues about my lost relationship with my Dad than I realize. When the chips were down, I just couldn't bear to see my kids without a father. And I still don't know if I did the right thing. Even though he's finally getting help, there are still no guarantees. And the relationship our boys have been raised with so far is grossly unhealthy. <br /><br />When he started methadone treatments, after stealing our grocery card, he thanked me for giving him another chance. I didn't know what to say. From my point of view, it's not another chance. I'm not giving him anything. All I am doing is waiting to see whether my decision to keep him in our lives turns out for better or worse. Only time will tell. I can't do anything about the regrets I already have.<br /><br />Your post is encouraging, no matter how it ends between us. Thankyou.Pippihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05598890631695015818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-26326091718133576032012-01-10T21:56:13.685-08:002012-01-10T21:56:13.685-08:00Thank you for this. Most people don't know tha...Thank you for this. Most people don't know that my husband and I have both been married before. It's kind of a non-issue. God always meets us where we are.<br />As a previous commenter mentioned, I have also seen/read "Bible" studies that advocated leaving a second spouse and either reuniting with the first spouse or remaining single. Oh. my. word.<br />Thanks again. Always a great read here.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-70965841800224703172012-01-10T19:32:26.105-08:002012-01-10T19:32:26.105-08:00I remember when I was 30, sitting in a Sunday Scho...I remember when I was 30, sitting in a Sunday School class where they were discussing whether Divorce was the "unpardonable sin". We left. :/<br /><br />I have been divorced. My husband and I were planning to go on the mission field. He went on to Seminary, and I was working. I found out I was pregnant.... he came home from seminary right about that time and said, "I don't believe any of this cr.." To my dismay and shock.<br />He took us on a path of destruction that I cannot freely write about and much of it is too painful. Let's just say 4 boys later, things got worse and worse and worse and then.... I left.<br />I went back with a promise of change. But when I returned he said, "You're stuck now aren't you!"<br /><br />I told him I would NEVER be stuck, that the Lord would go with me through anything, and then I gave him 6 months. On the 6 month anniversary, I reminded him... and he said, "go". 9 years of HEdoublehockeysticks.... I was released. <br />Then came the judgement of others who had NO IDEA or CLUE.<br /><br />I remarried 3 years later. We had invited a family over for dinner and they were, forgive me for the term, "gothardites"....<br />While we were getting ready to serve dinner, she literally said, "I know of a lady who's husband was coming at her with a hammer and she just prayed in tongues!" I don't know if the look on my face shut her up, or my prayers, but I could NOT BELIEVE this woman was saying such a thing, as if I didn't try hard enough. Because, divorce is sin, and I was a sinner.<br /><br />There are even those who suggest that a remarried person divorce their spouse and remarry their original spouse, which is actually contrary to old testament law. UGH<br /><br />Mike and I have been married now for 23 years. We love each other and the Lord and even though we have not lived perfect lives, as we are sinners, God has blessed us, and our sons and daughters.Christie Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09738612207150868577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-20782892551797524582012-01-10T18:21:28.106-08:002012-01-10T18:21:28.106-08:00Really well saI'd. I've had too many frien...Really well saI'd. I've had too many friends experience this and stay for those very reasons. And ive had many stay for the kids, much to the destruction of those very kids. Love you, friend!Sohailahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07705675992572434472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7084876109811698517.post-84507214391048827992012-01-10T18:10:49.847-08:002012-01-10T18:10:49.847-08:00Thank you so much for this post. It really is a gi...Thank you so much for this post. It really is a gift from God for me. I spent 5 years going back to my emotional and verbally abusive alcoholic husband, because of the reason you listed. It was the Christian thing, he hadn't cheated, he didn't hit me, so "biblically" I had no reason to permanently leave.<br />I did, almost a year ago. And for the past 12 months I have been in utter turmoil. My husband will never divorce me, it would be releasing any chance he has left of controlling me. Just yesterday I spent an hour on the phone to my sister in law, discussing this very issue, talking about how I felt that my husband walked out on our marriage a long long time ago, but how that is also combined with the guilt of divorce.<br />God has really used you to encourage, bless and confirm for me that I am not a failure, and that the path I have chosen is the right one.<br />I cannot thank you enough.zephanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07335092199475057006noreply@blogger.com